Love happens
by Takara-chan
Summary: Love is something special, something that can never be planned. Julia thought true love didn't exist. Her father, Landon, was heartbroken when he lost her mom. So she never wanted to take the risk. Until she meets Nick. Could love bring them together? R
1. Default Chapter

An alarm clock sounded loudly throughout Julia's room as she stumbled out of bed. Sleep had come so easily over the summer she was not prepared to wake up at five thirty in the morning for school.  
  
Her hand finally found the alarm button, and the loud beeping suddenly shut off with a welcoming silence. Julia almost felt herself drifting back off to sleep; almost....  
  
"Julia!" her father's voice sounded through the door, along with a loud knock. She tried to roll over on her side, away from the doorway, but the door creaked open and Landon was at her bedside. He shook her slightly, but her urge to sleep kept her motionless. "I knew I shouldn't have let you sleep in to twelve over the summer," her father mumbled to himself.  
  
With one more hopeless try of waking Julia, Landon made way to her bedroom curtains and drew them open. Immediately a flow of bright sunlight poured into her room and over her eyes. She moaned in agitation and buried her head in the pillow, but to no avail; the sunlight seemed to creep in somehow. "Dad!" she growled, "Why did you have to do that?!"  
  
Landon smiled and quietly made way out of her room, not even bothering to answer. Julia eventually crawled out of bed and walked slightly unconsciously into the kitchen, opening the cupboards for some cereal. A box of Froot loops stared back at her as she reached up for it. In the next few minutes Julia was eating her cereal and slowly, very slowly coming back to life.  
  
"Glad to see you're awake," came her father's voice, "I'm off to the hospital now. Do you need anything before I leave?" Julia stared almost lifeless back at her breakfast for a moment, thinking hard. She didn't think there was anything she needed, well, needed desperately anyway.  
  
"Not today," she mumbled back. Landon nodded, grabbed his jacket, kissed Julia on the forehead and then left, leaving his daughter eating quietly in the kitchen. It was going to be another long year, probably her longest in her High school career. Today was the beginning of her senior year, and she was terrified to begin it. She knew by the end of this next school year she was going to be on her own. The familiarity of school was going to be gone and a whole world of opportunities was waiting for her.  
  
Julia shuddered at the thought and slid out of her chair, making way into her room, preparing for school. By six forty-five she was ready to go, with her hair pulled back into a tight pony tail, and a bit of natural make- up painted lightly over face, she felt she was ready for a new school year. Grabbing her keys, and her purse she was out the door and in her car.  
  
As she pushed the key into the ignition she caught glimpse of a cross dangling from the key chain. The car rumbled only for a moment but then died as she turned the car off. The Cross that was on the key chain used to belong to Jamie Sullivan, Julia's mother, and she couldn't help but take the time to admire it every so often.  
  
Julia pulled the key from the ignition and held the cross in her hand, letting her index finger caress the medal. She never knew her mother; Jamie had died from leukemia giving birth to her. Julia sometimes caught herself blaming herself for her mother's death, seeing it was her who her mother died for. Luckily though, Landon never blamed her for a single minute, which was actually quite a miracle she had heard.  
  
She sighed after a moment and finally let the cross slip through her fingers dropping and dangling in between the different keys hanging on her key chain and plugged her key back into the ignition, pulling out of the drive way. She was supposed to meet her friend at the nearest coffee shop before school. Luckily the shop was only five minutes away. Well, that is if she didn't hit any of the red lights on the way.  
  
"Cassie?" Julia chimed to the sound of her friends voice answer, "Hey, are you at the shop already?" There was a pause before Cassie answered and for that Julia was grateful, she was in the middle of switching lanes and didn't feel comfortable talking at te same time.  
  
"Yeah, where are you?"  
  
"On my way," replied Julia, "I kind of took a bit of my time looking at my mom's cross on my key chain."  
  
"Again?" Cassie questioned. Another pause between the phone connections was heard. Julia didn't want to answer, she never felt comfortable explaining these things to her friend, she never really understood. Unlike her, Cassie had a mom and dad and doesn't know what it's like to not have a mother figure.  
  
"Look, I have to go, I'm burning minutes, see you when I get there!" With a sigh of relief Julia hung up her phone and dropped it in her purse. She knew her friend was probably feeling cheated out, but her mom was not a subject she wanted to talk about then.  
  
She came to the stop light that was right across the street to the coffee shop and pushed the break of her car when the light turned red. Impatiently Julia glanced at her car clock, then ahead again, tapping her thumbs on the steering wheel. The light eventually changed, but just as Julia pushed on the gas the car gave a snort and died right there in the intersection.  
  
"Oh, shit!" Julia breathed, turning the key in the ignition in false hope, praying desperately there wouldn't be an accident do to her broken down car. In panic she opened her car door and waved to the cars she could gather attention too and tried to signal some help. No one seemed to respond, but drove on around her.  
  
"Hello!" she found herself screaming after the third car drove on past as if there was nothing wrong, "Hello, do you have any shred of kindness in you at all!" Her screaming was in vain and she knew it, but it felt better to get it out that way. After the fifth car and her second scream, Julia turned and kicked her car door denting it slightly. This only added onto her frustration.  
  
"That was not the smartest idea," a male's voice came lightly toward her. Julia looked behind her and caught glimpse of a guy walking toward her car. "Need a hand?"  
  
She sighed in pure relief and made way toward the guy, smiling for the first time that morning it seemed. "Thank you so much! I've been trying to find help for the last five minutes." The guy smiled and walked over to her car, walking toward the back placing his hands on the trunk.  
  
"It's not a problem, but first we need to get this car out of the road." Julia slid into the driver's seat and helped steer the car as he pushed it toward the parking lot with the coffee shop. Within ten minutes the car was parked, and the guy was staring into her hood.  
  
Julia watched in complete boredom, she could not comprehend how he could stare at the different cords or parts of the car and understand anything of it. She knew her books and bible, not car mechanics. "It seems your car overheated, and your need an oil change," the guy said after a while of staring under her hood.  
  
With a bang he slammed her hood and wiped his hands on a towel he brought from his car smiling at her. "We never properly introduced, did we?" It wasn't a question, Julia knew that much. He was clearly making statement.  
  
"Nope, not in the mist of all this," she replied, backing away slightly. She finally got a good look at him. He certainly resembled a popular guy and looked liked he was into the usual teen partying stuff. Julia completely pulled away then, not wanting too much to do with him, even though he was quite cute. "I'm Julia Carter," she said hurriedly putting out her hand.  
  
"Nick Brookes," he replied taking her hand in his. "Look, do you want any help with getting a ride to, I'm guessing school, right?" Julia nervously glanced over at the coffee shop, Cassie wasn't there anymore and her school was too far to walk unless she wanted to be late.  
  
"Yeah," she said, not sure she wanted a ride from this stranger. "Umm, would you mind giving a ride to Jefferrson High?" Nick smiled and turned from her, signaling her to follow.  
  
"Not a problem, I go there too. Go ahead and hop in, and don't mind the stuff on the seat, just push it too the floor."  
  
Julia nodded and pushed the things that were on the passenger seat onto the floor. Most of it was trash from what looked like it was from a fast food place, or pencils, pens, and even what looked like was one of his shirts. When she was sure there was nothing left on the seat she slid in, feeling quite awkward.  
  
This was going to be a long drive.  
  
A/N what do you think?? Plz review! This is my first fanfic for this movie, so plz tell me what you think... thx . 


	2. chapter 2

Immediately Julia's judgment proved true when heavy metal music blasted through the car. It wasn't that she didn't listen to this kind of music, but most popular guys loved this kind of music. She sighed and awkwardly shifted in the passenger seat, holding her folder and books just a bit tighter then she really needed to.  
  
"After school I can take you back to the parking lot so you can take your car back. Or at least call a tow truck for help." The offer was kind. Julia felt almost awkward thinking someone like him would offer. She sighed, why was she being so judgmental? Sure, he looked to be the type she wanted to stand clear of, but was he really what she figured?  
  
She wasn't going to take the risk. "No thanks," she murmured, carefully eyeing the images out her window and keeping her eyes from catching his curious gaze. "Thanks for the offer, but I'll just get a ride from my friend." The car seemed to grow immensely silent, even if his radio blasted throughout the windows.  
  
"Sure," Nick said quietly in answer, "I mean, that makes sense, you don't really know me." Julia wasn't certain but the tone in his voice rang very much like disappointment. What did this guy want with her?  
  
She could hold her eyes on the images outside of her familiar town no longer, the sound his voice arose curiosity. She caught his gaze only slightly and looked away, not wanting to find herself falling for him. She was never going to fall in love, it didn't exist. To Julia, love was just one big heartbreak in the end, so what's the point in even bothering?  
  
Nick shifted quietly in the driver's seat when she looked away, and began to scan out the streets more then he was scanning her a moment before. His face held with hurt; it was drawn up in slight tension to hide away the emotion. His eyes which seemed to stand out against his dark features were steel, and never left the road as they road on. His dark brown hair was slightly long in the back with overgrown bangs that hung down just a bit over his eyes.  
  
Julia sighed in protest against her mind, he was hot! There was just no denying it. Even she, the one who had turned down tons of guys due to protecting herself from being hurt in the end like her father, thought Nick was just completely hot and sexy. She shuddered and eventually pulled her eyes away from his figure. What was she thinking?? He probably went to parties, drank, smoked, and everything else. And, due to his incredibly great looks she assumed he must have a girlfriend.  
  
"What grade are you in?" he asked, suddenly turning off his music and leaving the air with an uncomfortable silence. Julia was not expecting him to perk up so quickly and start a conversation.  
  
"I'm a senior," Julia said confidently in reply, she was sure he would look up to her, because she had never seen him in any of her classes. Nick smiled then, sending a sharp wave of feeling through her to the sight. She shook it away.  
  
"Wow, are you serious? That's amazing!" he shook his head in disbelief, while Julia almost felt pride pricking at her, she was older for sure. "You don't look like a senior though, I was thinking junior!"  
  
"Well, I've heard that a lot," she said smiling despite herself. There was no way he'd be interested in her now, seeing she was obviously older then him.  
  
"Me too, well, last year anyways. Are you new to this school?"  
  
Julia glanced at him curiously; she had gone to Jefferson High all three years, from freshman to now senior year... It wasn't like the school was small, so why would he expect to have seen her before? "No, I've gone to that school since my freshman year." Nick seemed a bit confused over this, which only made Julia wonder more.  
  
"I've never seen you in any of my classes," he commented, glancing at her slightly when he stopped at a red light. Julia grew speechless, he _was_ a senior. But, why had she not seen him before? He didn't look like was new to this city, despite its largeness, so how could she not have seen him at least once before in one of her classes. Was he a ditcher? Julia gave a small sigh of relief to the thought that would explain everything.  
  
"You're a senior?' she blurted out before she could hold herself back. Nick smiled at her and pushed the gas pedal when the light turned green, easily answering her question with that single glance. "Oh," she faltered, "I thought you were---I was sure you weren't a senior. I mean, for the same reason you were surprised. I have never seen you before."  
  
"We do have a big school there is over four hundred seniors this year." He grinned, "It actually makes sense now that I think about it." Julia couldn't help but agree, she had forgotten that much.  
  
Within the next five minutes Nick had found a parking spot in the parking lot and was climbing out of the car while Julia followed. It was strange walking toward her school walking next to Nick; she had always walked to school with her friend Cassie or by herself. Never with a–a guy!  
  
"Here we go," Nick mumbled when they reached the flag pole in the front of the school. A bright yellow paper was taped to it, with last names and room numbers listed. "They changed it, usually B's are by themselves." Julia immediately stepped forward and looked on the paper curious as to what he meant and sighed heavily. Students with the last names that start with B and C were in the same class to pick up there schedules.  
  
"Yeah, I guess were off to the same class."  
  
Nick grinned slightly and gently tapped her on the shoulder. "Ready? The bell will be ringing any minute from now." Julia nodded and gripped her folder and strap of her purse tightly, following after him. Things were defiantly not going as planned.  
  
A/N sorry if this chapter is short. I had a major writer's block and I can't seem to know where to go from here... oh well, I'll have an update as soon as I can.. plz review! 


	3. Notice

Hey everybody! Thanks for all the reviews! I juss wanted to let you all know that I'm going camping for a week and I won't be able to update before I go... but I promise to have an update next Saturday when I get back.. thanks again for all the reviews!


	4. chapter 3

"Greg!" Julia gasped when Nick and her walked into their classroom. Without much thought she left Nick's side and burst into Greg's arms. "I haven't seen you since last school year!" Greg, slightly shocked and surprised by the outburst, eventually hugged Julia back.

Nick watched a moment, but finally moved to a open seat in the back corner, letting Julia ditch him right on the spot.

"I know," Greg replied, feeling much better seeing Julia back away, "I had to go out to Colorado. My grandmother needed extra care and both my mom and dad were too busy to go and help her out." He smiled at her and then glanced back at the guy he had just seen her walk in with. "New boyfriend?"

Julia made a face and took an empty seat next to her friend. "No! He just helped me this morning with my car. It broke down in front of the coffee shop I meet Cassie at." Greg nodded, and finally took his own seat. "Wow, so you went to Colorado? Is your grandmother okay now?"

He didn't answer at first. Leaving a silence settling between them, with the exception of the chattering of the other students. "She passed away last Friday." Julia felt guilty and looked away. She had never known what it was to lose someone she loved. After all her mother did die when she was giving birth to her, so she never got to know her.

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be." Greg suddenly caught her gaze. "She wouldn't people to feel sorry for her death, she was as Christian as your Mom, and she had a strong faith." Julia bit her lip and nodded. It frustrated her when she heard how much of a strong faith her mother had. Especially because she didn't even know where her own idea of religion stood.

"Well, I guess I'll start handing out schedules now," the teachers voice suddenly came from the front of the classroom, dragging Julia from her thoughts. She sat straighter and shifted in her seat as names were beginning to be called out.

Once or twice she caught herself taking a few glances toward Nick, who seemed to be looking at her just as much. "Nick Brookes!" the teacher called, causing Julia to look once more. She watched him raise his hand and signal the teacher's attention. Watching the way his movements were almost smoothly done.

"Julia Carter!" she suddenly sat up, realizing she had been staring at Nick for the past few minutes. "Julia Carter, last call!"

"Here---I'm---I'm over here!" The teacher turned and walked over to Julia handing over her schedule. She felt her heart pounding in her chest, trying to shake this feeling running through her. Immediately she began to run her eyes over the schedule, not wanting to find them wandering back to Nick. The idea frightened her.

As she began to scan over her year's classes, she was glad to find her free period after lunch and was hoping that one of her friends shared the same time off. Ring! A shuffling of students and the end bell caught her attention as she gathered her books and headed for the door. She glanced down at her schedule one last time to verify where her first period class was going to be and then found herself almost searching for Nick as she slowly made way out the door. However, as she finally exited she realized she missed him.

Why he was on her mind for the next three periods, Julia didn't know. His eyes, hair, features, the way his body seemed to move with different gestures, was all running through her head. Even when she tried desperately to ask stupid questions to her teacher to take him off her mind, it didn't work. Somehow his face drifted back into her memory, the way she had caught him glimpsing her way more then once.

The thought of him was nearly driving her insane! She was the girl who had thought falling in love was just a downfall in the end. Who had learned at an early age that love wasn't really worth it if heartbreaks were bound meant to happen. And lately she had noticed that falling in love was just a lame excuse to sleep with someone. So why was this guy suddenly taking over her mind?

He was nothing that grabbed her attention, or at least he shouldn't have been anything. Wasn't this the same guy she had assumed had a girlfriend, and partied, drank and smoked? Julia eventually was able to get a clear mind, but it wasn't going to last for very long...

"Oh my god! Julia, you have to give me the details!" Cassie burst out when she found her friend in the cafeteria.

"What details, there aren't any."

"Come on! I saw that hot guy looking at your car! Did anything go on between you two?" Cassie was all excited and driving Julia crazy. She was always the one who needed to know everything about every guy Julia came in contact with.

"Of course not!" Julia countered, "And why didn't you wait for me? I would have much preferred your ride instead of his!" She watched her friend give a face in disgust and followed her quietly to an empty table.

"You really need to wake up, Julia. How are you ever supposed to fall in love if you don't take chances? I mean this guy could be your future husband or something!" Julia rolled her eyes and looked away, but Cassie wasn't finished with her speech yet. "Really! Can you prove me wrong?"

"You've read to many of those romances, Cassie," Julia commented.

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"It is when you start making statements like that! Cassie, the novels lie to you! Their not real!" Cassie laughed sarcastically and began to open her milk she received with her lunch.

"Of course their not real, that's why there fiction."

"Exactly. That's all love is. It's fiction." Cassie grew quiet and began to munch on her bag of chips. Julia waited and wanted a comment, but it didn't come. No sarcastic comeback, no defense, just nothing.

"This is about your Dad and your mom dying, isn't it?" Cassie's voice was hushed, as if she was being cautious on the subject. Julia didn't answer; she wasn't prepared for the question. "Love is taking a chance, otherwise you'll miss it. You've told me before how your Dad really believed he loved your mom. Why can't you believe it?"

"Because, if there really was love, shouldn't God keep the two people together for as long as they live?"

"Tough question. But, nothing lasts forever, you just need to take the time you're given and use it to your best advantage." Cassie sounded almost like she knew what she was talking about as she stated this last thing. Julia wasn't even sure how to respond when Cassie let out her final word.

It was true, nothing lasts forever, however that brought her back to the same place she started. What is the point? If you know nothing lasts forever, why even bother with staying with someone? You know you'll lose them eventually, so why risk the hurt?

"Hey!" A sudden, deep, familiar voice rang out in the middle of her thoughts, bringing Julia's focus in on Nick Brookes. Her heart almost flipped with nerves, but she calmed them before they got the better of her.

"Oh---hi," she stumbled over her words. She meant to glance at her friend for support, yet Cassie was already gathering her stuff.

"I'll leave you two alone, see you Julia!" Then she was gone, disappearing in the crowd of students. Julia nervously pushed her hair behind her ear and tried everything she could to keep her eyes from his.

"Sorry about his morning. I kind of ditched you, huh?" She caught a glimpse of his eyes and they were covered in hurt.

"Oh, well, I guess you can say that."

"Look, I'm sorry, it was very rude of me, especially after you helped me and --," she never got to finish.

"Well, I understand." He paused a moment, "Was he your boyfriend?" Immediately she shook her head, surprised by such a question.

"No, not at all! He's just a good friend. That's all."

Nick's mood lifted nearly immediately, and an unexpected smile spread over his face. "That's great! Look, would you like to go out with me this Saturday night?" Julia's eyes widened, realizing that she was just being asked out on a date.

She didn't know how to respond. Trying to gather her thoughts for an answer, Cassie's speech kept ringing in her ear.

_You really need to wake up, Julia_

_This guy might be your future husband or something!_

_Love is taking a chance; otherwise you'll miss it._

"You know, this might sound crazy, but you've been on my mind all morning," Nick's voice cut in again when Julia was yet to answer. "So, what do you say? Would you like to go out with me?"

Although she knew she was thinking about him all morning, another part of her, the part that had always sheltered her heart, stepped forward in protection mode. Remembering yet another thing that Cassie had said.

_Nothing lasts forever._

"You know, I think I'll pass. Thanks for the offer though." Slowly, Julia stood up from the cafeteria bench and gathered her barely touched food. "I need to meet up with one of my friends, I'll guess I'll talk to you later. Bye."

A/N: Hey everyone. Thanks for all your reviews so far! Sorry I didn't update for this past week, like I said I was camping. But I hope you like this chapter! Plz review and tell me what you think.


	5. chapter 4

"Hey Dad!" Julia said as she walked into her kitchen. Lately the hospital only needed him in the mornings, so it was nice for Julia seeing him right after school. Even though she knew one phone called could change that. Landon, who sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee looked up at his daughter and smiled.

"How was your day a school?" he asked, sipping his drink. Julia turned and pretended to look for something in her pantry before she answered. She was still debating on whether she should mention Nick or not. "Julia?"

"Oh, it was ok," was her reply. Still, no matter how much she wanted her statement to sound casual, it came out rather secretive. She gave a quick look back at her father, praying he didn't notice. What she found, however, was his eyes locking with hers and a '_what are you not telling me?_' glance. "Well," Julia began in forfeit, "I met this guy, but it's really nothing."

"Really?" Landon gently placed his coffee on the table and grinned slightly. "What's his name?"

"Nick Brookes," she replied absentmindedly. She just wanted to get him off her mind for once, and right when she was finally starting to, her father catches on!

Landon grew quiet and sipped at his coffee again. Julia looked back at him after a few minutes of silence crept by. She knew he must have been thinking hard; she suddenly began to wonder if he was even thinking about their conversation.

Especially since many times she had caught her father staring off in space, apparently just thinking about her mother. It used to happen quite often, but recently if he had been thinking about her at all, he did it on his own time. "Dad?" Julia whispered, watching her voice bringing him back to the kitchen and their conversation.

"I think he's one of my patients," he replied softly, "Is he a senior too?"

"Yeah," Julia replied, wondering why Nick being one of Landon's patients would really matter. "So, he's one of your patients?"

"If it's the same Nick Brookes I'm thinking of," Landon whispered, "Wow, so how did you two meet?" Julia suddenly widened her eyes in realization, as she just remembered her car was still in the Coffee shop's parking lot. Landon caught her widened eyes and gave her another curious look.

"I met him when my car broke down on the main street just outside of the coffee shop that I meet Cassie at." She sighed heavily, "I need to go get it. Can you give me a lift?" Landon finished his coffee quickly and then placed it in the sink. Within the next few minutes Julia and Landon were in the car and pulling out of the driveway. "Thanks," she mumbled watching her street fly by past the window. "I just can't believe I forgot! Who forgets they left a car in a parking lot?"

"It's alright, honey," Her father soothed, "It happens." Julia shook her head and switched on the radio, not able to bare the silence for very long.

"_There's a song that's inside of my soul..._" The song that came out of the speakers was soft and beautiful. It was a lot like one of the songs she would listen too when she would listen to the radio. Although she had never heard it before, it rang familiar somehow. "_It's the one that I've tried to write over and over aga_--."

Julia immediately looked over at her dad surprised he had turned it off. "It's nothing," Landon stammered, saying it all a little _too _quickly.

"What's wrong? I thought the song was beautiful."

Landon shifted quietly in the driver's seat and focused on the road for a while. Julia didn't bother saying anything, even though she was curious, she thought it was better if he explained on his own time. "It is beautiful," Her father suddenly said in the middle of the silence. "Your mother sang it at the play on the first night I fell in love with her."

She couldn't help but notice the two stray tears that found themselves dripping down his face. She felt herself, like she did when she was younger, hating her mother. Why did she have to die and leave her father the pain of life without her?

Yet, suddenly, a smile spread over his face. One that lit his eyes from just the smile, and for the first time in weeks true happiness seemed to run through him. "She was so beautiful," he said, his voice soft and quiet. "I wish you could have gotten to know her. She was the best person I ever knew." He glanced at Julia and gave her a loving smile, "You look so much like her."

It wasn't the first time she had heard him say that, or heard anyone say it for that matter. "I know, you tell me every time you think of her." Julia tried to hide the edge in her voice, not wanting her father to hear the bitterness that she felt toward her mother.

"I mean it, you know," he added, trying to catch his daughter's eyes when the light was red. Julia grew quiet and didn't answer. She didn't even return Landon's gaze, she knew he would have been able to see right through her.

"Where's my car?" She suddenly whispered when she pulled into the parking lot and finding it nearly empty; her car nowhere in sight. Without much more thought she burst from the car and ran toward the coffee shop, thinking perhaps someone who worked there could give some information.

Landon turned off the car and eased his way out the driver's seat, watching his daughter go rushing in.

"Excuse me! Excuse me!" she hurried to the ordering counter and called for assistance. An elderly lady stepped from a backroom and grabbed a pad of paper and a pen, walking so slow Julia was beginning to grow impatient. "Look, I'm not here to order anything," she said, hearing her voice replay a rude line.

"Oh, well then I shouldn't even bother!" the lady retorted, slamming the pad of paper on the counter.

"I'm sorry, but do you by chance know where my car is?"

"Oh, so it's your car that the young man was talking about. The one that you almost had towed." The lady slowly made way around the counter, taking a piece of paper with her. "Here, someone named Nick Brookes picked it up for you. He left his number and address. Good day."

"Thank you,"

"I said Good day!"

Julia took the paper and backed out of the shop in guilt. Why had she been so desperate for her car that she had to be as rude as she did? She sighed, and made way back to her father's car, finding Landon leaning against the hood of the car with his door open. "So?"

"I guess it was almost towed," Julia said, distantly. Landon just shook his head toward the news.

"Almost towed?"

"Well, Nick picked it up for me. He must have noticed I didn't come back for it and picked it up before it was towed." When she saw her father's look of confusion she explained the best she could. "It broke down, like I said. He must have---," her eyes widened at the sudden thought, "My God, he must have pushed it all the way to his house!"

"That was sure nice of him," Her dad replied, "We better go pick it up then, don't you think?"

Without a second thought, she jumped into the car and read out the directions to her father. She was thankful she had left her cell phone the previous two days before in Landon's car, so she picked it up and pushed in the number.

The rings seemed to come in slow motion, like one lasted at least a minute at a time. She supposed it was because she didn't know how she was going to call him, tell him she was coming and even see him after she had turned him down for the date he had asked her out on.

"Hello?" a women's voice answered first.

But then just after, another deeper voice came on, "Hello?"

"Uhh---," Julia stuttered, slightly confused by the fact that more then one person had answered at the same time. "Is Nick there?"

"Mom, you can hang up the phone, it's for me," Nick said. Julia heard the sound of another phone being replaced on the phone stand, knowing it was just her and Nick on the same line. "Who is this?" he asked, and Julia had to actually gather her thoughts before she could say her name.

"Julia,"

"Oh! Hey!" his voice seemed to come out slightly higher then it should have, since his voice was already so deep. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your car. It's just the lady had already sent for a tow truck, and I didn't know your number. So I figured the best way was to leave a message and take it to my house." He paused a moment, and then added, "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, thank you."

"It's really not a problem. By the way, I fixed it for you."

"Wha—what?" she stuttered, "You didn't have too, I mean, I'm very grateful and all, but would you like me to pay you?"

"No, don't worry about it." There was a silence on the other end of the line, and then, "Would you like to stay for dinner?" Julia glanced at Landon as soon as the question was asked. Even though her father had not heard the question she hoped he would answer for her.

"Well, my dad is the one who is coming with me,"

"Oh, well he's welcome to stay too."

"Umm, Dad, Nick's offering us dinner, what do you think?"

Landon checked his watch and nodded, "Yeah, that sounds great. Today's my day off." Julia sighed heavily at the response, wondering how her day had come down to this.

"Yeah, we'd like that a lot," Julia finally answered.

"Great, I'll see you when you get here! Bye!"

Julia ended the call and leaned back in the seat. So much had happened in one day, it was hard to believe it at all. She didn't even know Nick and she knew she was falling for him; however, romances can't happen in a day. Even she knew that. All the movies or friends of hers who had fallen for a guy in one day had always come out with a harsh ending. She wasn't ready to risk that. Why she was even questioning about taking the chance was beyond her.

When they drove up his street, Nick was out on his front porch waiting, and Julia's breath was almost taken from her. He looked darkly handsome as he made way down his front steps and toward her dad's parked car. She couldn't help but watch his green eyes through his dark hair that fell slightly over them. The way his body moved with his stride.

What the night held for her now, Julia could never guess. It was the beginning of something new.

A/N plz review! And tell me what you think... thanks! .


	6. Chapter 5

The dinner seemed to fly by quickly, much to Julia's satisfaction. The conversation was mainly about business between Landon and Nick's parents. However, every once in a while Nick was brought up in the conversation about his health conditions.

Julia wished deeply that she could know what his health conditions were, but they were being so blunt about it, they could have been talking about the weather for all she knew.

Every so often, she would catch Nick staring from across the table, just watching her every move. She would try her hardest to avoid his eyes; although they were so beautiful and piercing she couldn't keep her eyes from straying very far from his. It frightened her to the core of her very heart. The idea that a guy had captured her heart was not something she wanted at this time of her life. She was independent, someone who thought she didn't need a guy to live in her life.

She shook her head at these sudden thoughts swimming through her mind and watched the dining room come back to focus. Landon was in deep conversation about a miracle he had helped come to be in a tough situation with a child, and Nick, who should have been as amazed and interested in this miraculous story, was watching Julia. The gaze he left on her was soft and gentle, something that sent a wave of a heart pounding rush through her.

"Dad," she burst out, not realizing she was interrupting a conversation rudely, "I think it's about time we go home. I—uhh---I have a report due tomorrow." Landon glanced at her and saw right through her lie.

"No you don't, today was the first day of school," her father made a knowing point, which made Julia curl up in embarrassment. Especially when she knew all of the Brookes family saw that she wanted to leave the dinner already. "Why don't you and Nick go talk, if our discussion is boring you so much."

More redness crept into her cheeks. She glanced at Nick, not knowing exactly why, but found a sweet smile on his face. Almost as if he adored watching her embarrassment! "Come on," he said gently, "Parents _are_ boring," he grinned up at his mom and dad and then slightly gave a gesture to follow him out of the room.

Julia wasn't sure what to do, or what she even wanted to do. Somehow, though, she found herself pushing back her seat and getting to her feet, following Nick out of the dining room. "Hey, don't worry about in there," he soothed gently when she joined him.

"Well, I wasn't trying to be rude or anything," she defended, trying to stare at everything else in the kitchen but him. She hoped he thought she was just admiring it, by looking at the pantry cupboards, refrigerator, and the counter. She even caught herself walking across the room and becoming very interested in his microwave.

Nick followed in curiosity, watching her stare at his microwave with an interesting expression written onto her face. "Never seen a microwave before?" he teased, coming only inches away from the left side of her face.

Julia hadn't noticed his closeness and felt herself turning to comment, but found her face nearly colliding with his. It was the strangest moment in her life; she didn't even know what came over her. Both of there noses brushed just slightly as she turned her head, and his eyes were locked with hers in the instant. She couldn't help but notice the smoothness of his skin, or the softness of his lips, she even, for reasons she couldn't explain, wanted to reach out and touch his lips. Feel his soft skin, having the smoothness glide under her fingertips.

"You're beautiful," he whispered lightly, his eyes searching hers. She was speechless, lost in a different world it seemed; she wasn't even in his kitchen anymore. She was lost in his green eyes; swimming in an ocean of thoughts she never even knew she had. When he whispered she felt his breath gently run over her face, loving it as it rolled over her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered, not even recognizing her own voice. It sounded too lost and distant to be hers. She was always a down-to-earth person, but this new voice sounded as if it was coming from miles and miles away, just barely audible to make it a whisper.

Slowly she watched his hand rise up, and felt it glide under her chin. She felt his hand shaking against her face, and watched his eyes tell her exactly what he was about to do. His face was suddenly leaning closer to her own, his lips nearly brushing with hers.

A war was battling in side her at that moment. Her sheltered heart was aching to feel more of whatever was running through her, but it also was cowering back at the thought of risking pain. Suddenly that was what captured the fear, she wasn't prepared to chance getting hurt.

She pulled away quickly, and backed away out of his reach. Nick's hand dropped down to his side, and she could see the nerves that were taking over him as it was with her. She saw his eyes questioning hers, wondering what was wrong, and why she had pulled away.

"I—I'd better go," she stammered, remembering her car was fixed and that she could leave on her own. "Can you please tell my dad that I'll meet him at home?" She watched him a moment, seeing his eyes stained with an internal wound. He swallowed hard and slowly backed away, nodded slightly.

"Sure."

"I guess I'll—uhh, see you around then?" She tried to smile, but it died on her lips, just seeing him pull away as he did.

"Sure."

His 'sure' was short and Julia could feel the sudden tenseness weighing down between them in the air. She felt horrible as she nodded slightly and walked out his front door and down the front lawn. She felt guilty for not thanking him for the dinner, though, still was too humiliated to face him to set things right. And she didn't know why she never looked back at his house as she drove off.

A week passed easily as Julia's busy schedule took up its normal pace. Sudden reports were already set, and friend outings were already planned. Helping with tutoring and taking 7th period classes were all in a one days' schedule. Her friends were already coming to her for help if they didn't understand something and she was ready to assist any who came to her.

Still, through all of her active week, Nick seemed to drift into her mind more then she wanted. And the night at his house seemed to replay over and over again, and she found herself daydreaming quite more often, when she usually never could. However, as much as he was on her mind, she wouldn't allow herself to see him.

Every time she passed a hallway with him, she would dart behind a large crowd, or if she saw him walking toward her table, she would give an excuse and rush out of the cafeteria. More then once he caught on and tried to call after her, but she didn't stop.

She was running away and she knew it. She was hoping staying clear of him would get him off her mind, however it did quite the contrary. He was on her mind much more, and the urge to talk to him was beginning to become harder to ignore.

Part of her even wanted to accept his offer he made a week before, even though she feared it was too late.

She sighed heavily, and lied back on her bed, glad that her day of school was done for the day. She was tired already, and school had only lasted for a week! She was even beginning to wonder if she could handle another stressful year. "Julia!" Landon's voice echoed from another part of the house.

Julia, despite how comfortable she was, took to her feet and answered her dad's call. Apparently someone was on the phone for her. Quickly she turned the ringer back on her phone and picked up her cordless she had in her room. "Hello?"

"Hey, girl!" Cassie's voice came from the other line, "I was curious if you wanted to do something today?" The sound of relaxing and just hanging out for fun, sounded like heaven, but the reminder of an essay she still hadn't finished flashed in her mind.

"I wish," Julia, replied, "I still have that essay though. I've been so busy lately, it isn't even funny!" There was a silence on the other end that lasted so long she wasn't even sure if her friend was still on. "Cassie?"

"Well, you've definitely been avoiding someone," her friend commented through the quietness.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Julia said quickly, wanting to make it up to Cassie, "Look, I'll try and slow down a little, ok? I really haven't been trying to avoid you, I'm sorry."

"Not me, Julia!" Cassie countered nearly immediately, "I'm talking about Nick."

"Nick?"

"Ok, something happened between you two on Monday, something you didn't tell me," Cassie's voice was growing slightly demanding, which didn't help Julia's side at all. When she didn't reply, Cassie kept going, "So I'm right?" Another silence. "Oh My God! Details, I want them!"

"There aren't any!"

"What happened, Julia? Why don't you at least give him a chance?"

Julia hung up before she even responded or said goodbye. The phone landed on the receiver with a loud bang, and nearly skidded off her dresser from the momentum. She was so angry, and she didn't even know why. Everything was just growing frustrating, and the fact Nick could never be dropped from anyone's conversation lately, made talking to people even harder to deal with.

"What was that?" Landon had opened her door and found her sitting on her bed, her breathing coming in a little hard. "Julia, what was that noise?"

"Nothing," she mumbled, but her father didn't hear her voice.

"What?"

"It was nothing, I'm—I'm just frustrated, ok?"

Landon nodded slightly, and slowly began to close her door; "I'm going to the hospital now. Calm down, alright?" When she didn't answer, he nodded a little to himself then left her in the silence of her room.

A/N First off, I'd like to thank all of you for reviewing my fanfic . And I hope you all liked this chapter!


	7. chapter 6

The next couple of days went by slow for Julia the time seemed to be working slower by the minute. As much as she tried to avoid the thought of nick, he only was in her mind more.

Her work was clumsily done, and she purposely avoided her friends. Especially Cassie. She was humiliated! The reason she hung up didn't have a good excuse, all her friend did was bring up a guy. _A guy, that's all he is, _Julia would comfort, _and He's nothing, nothing worth risking myself for. _

Julia sighed heavily and made way across the empty campus of Jefferson High, stopping at an vacant lunch table. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a class-required book she had enjoyed from the first day of reading it, and decided to get ahead of her class.

It was her free period, so she had a whole hour to herself. Apparently, none of her friends had the same free time as her. As grateful as she was at the time, she knew it was going to get harder as the year progressed on without any company. Settling down, she began to pick up where she left off, and felt herself entering the shoes of the character, suddenly no longer being Julia Carter.

That was her favorite part of reading, it was being able to be someone else, go on her own adventure, see things from another point of view...

"Hi." The page Julia was reading suddenly came into focus and the world that she had built from the story shattered. Quickly she glanced up at who was talking to her, and felt her heart nearly stop from the sight. Nick stood there, looking like he wasn't really sure he wanted to be there himself. "Hey, look, about last Monday..." he trailed off, and looked away.

Julia wasn't exactly sure how to respond to the little that he said, she didn't even know if he wanted her to, or if he was going to eventually continue. Slowly she marked her page and closed the book, staring at a distant trashcan. "Shouldn't you be in class?" She wanted to sound kind enough to care, but it ended up sounding rather redundant instead.

Nick, slightly taken aback silently walked to the other side of the table and took a seat, dropping his backpack right next to him. "It's my free period, but why would you care?" Julia bit her lip and looked down, feeling the harshness hit her hard. She knew she deserved it though.

"Look, I haven't really been myself lately," she said rather quietly. Nick leaned his elbows against the table and leaned forward, trying to catch her eyes.

"Ok, I guess that's fair." He paused a moment, letting the awkwardness settle between them. "Would you at your normal self have accepted my offer out on a date?"

Julia sat straighter and caught his gaze, staring wide-eyed. She knew exactly what her usual self would have done, but it was her new self she had to worry about. What she wanted was to accept right there, and completely allow herself to fall for him, since she had been falling for him over the last few days by herself. However, the sheltered part of her still terrified her of the thought of being hurt in the end, like so many people she knew.

"Julia?"

"Well—well, no," she faltered. She caught Nick's gaze, and saw him start to nod to himself, watching him hold back some emotion. "I think I'd better go," she said suddenly, seeing he wanted an answer. And frankly, Julia wasn't ready to tell him she was falling for him just as much as he was for her.

She let her book fall into the opening of her purse, and was already halfway over the bench she was sitting on. Just when she was turning to get away, she felt the warmth of Nick's hand slide over and wrap around hers. Of course this was a simple gesture, but she couldn't help but notice how smooth and rough his hand felt at once. Along with how gentle it was, and she felt herself back in his kitchen, feeling this same hand running lightly across her face.

"Don't go," he whispered, tightening his hold just a little, giving almost a pleading squeeze. "You've run away from me enough lately." Guiltily, Julia looked down and allowed him to slowly lead her back to her seat, only now he was no longer sitting opposite her; now he was sitting right at her side. "Look, I really want to talk to you about Monday. You don't even have to say anything. Just sit and listen for all I care, just please, please hear me out."

"Alright."

"Ok," Nick let his hand slide off of hers and placed it firmly on his lap, folding it with his other. "To be honest, I've never kissed a girl I met in one day. This may sound like an excuse, but you were different." He tried to keep a steady gaze with her; still she looked at everything else that wasn't him. "I couldn't get you off my mind all day, and when we were alone in my kitchen, with your face suddenly so close to mine—I—I don't know, I was entranced or something." His words stumbled over themselves as he talked; yet he continued anyways. "Since then, you haven't left my mind." He shook his head slightly to himself and then added, "I really hope I didn't offend you that night, though."

Julia was speechless. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say to this. She wasn't offended at all; it was like a dream when they were together. Even for her, when she had vowed secretly she would never let herself fall in love after her father lost her mom, or after her friends would be heart broken after a relationship ended, thought that night was just magic. However, she had no idea how she was to explain this to Nick.

"Look, I understand if you just want me to go away and leave you alone from now on. And I will. I just needed to try, just try one last time to explain to you that I really like you. What really hurts is that I don't know if you even believe me or not. And whatever you want to be believe is all up to you now." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumbled piece of paper and handed it to her. "Right now, I at least know I tried. That's all I can do. See you around."

"Wait--,"

"Later." He threw his backpack over his shoulder and started to head off. He looked back three times, Julia had counted, and still, she didn't call after him. When he was gone she eventually realized she wanted to call him, but now it was too late.

Julia felt herself start to feel overwhelmed with sadness. Why she had not told him? Or even at least said she wanted to be friends? She didn't do either; she just sat there and listened. She heard him out and didn't do anything about it. She quickly wiped her hand across her eyes, feeling crying in the next category of emotions for her.

Slowly she opened up the crumbled piece of paper and found it saying:

_349-8829_

_Call me._

__

Julia's index finger played with the buttons on her phone, over and over again dialing Nick's number, but pushing too softly to actually be dialing his number. She would mumble as she outlined the different numbers, just talking quietly to herself. "3--," after saying it she would outline the number and then, "4--," outline that number a moment later. It just went on and on. She wanted to call, she wished she had the courage to call and say the four simple words, "Hi, is Nick there?"

She couldn't do it though. All she managed was to stare at the number pad, letting her finger tip glide across the seven numbers that would connect Nick and her on the same line. Landon questioned her at first, when he saw his daughter just sitting on her bed, mesmerized by outlining Nick's number.

"Julia, honey, are you alright?" he asked, waiting patiently for an answer, sitting right in front of her.

"Yeah," she replied, her voice not sounding at all like her own. "I'm just outlining some numbers, I'm fine."

Landon didn't say anything, quite sure Julia was far from okay, but still decided it was best if he left her alone for a while. Kissing her lightly on her forehead, he slowly left her room, watching all the way until he shut her door fully.

Julia suddenly dialed the first three numbers, feeling her finger pushing down the keys so they beeped and signaled she was actually about to call someone. Then, she hung up. She couldn't call. Then she tried it again, only this time, she managed to type in all of the numbers... However, her nerves took hold of her at the first ring and she found herself hanging up once more.

_Stupid, stupid! Why can't I just call? Just to get it over with? Why, why, wh--. _Ring! Julia dropped the phone as soon as it rang. Since she was deep in thought the obnoxious ring was louder and more pronounced then she had wished. Gathering herself together a second she picked up the ringing phone, wishing deeply she had caller I.D. Unfortunately she did not.

"Hello?" she questioned the caller. The line was silent a moment, just absolutely nothing. Julia could tell, however, that the caller was still on the other line because she could hear the background noises. "Hello?" she tried again, "Is anybody there?"

"You called?" Immediately Julia knew who was on the phone, and had to resist the strong urge to just hang up, and call it quits. Her finger wouldn't follow through with the command. It just dangled in her lap, nearly lifeless, while the other tangled itself in her phone cord.

"This is Nick," she said back, trying to make it a question. Unfortunately, it sounded much more like a statement. There was silence, and somehow Julia knew Nick was waited for her to talk first. She had to talk first, so he would know why she had called only minutes before.

"Well, what you said today," I began, swallowing hard, "Well, you did try, and I'm glad." She twisted the phone cord tighter around her finger, "I guess, well, lately I haven't been myself; I'm opening up to new things. I guess you could say. I guess, I'm not very good at admitting things." She sighed in defeat as she finished.

Silence engulfed the line for another minute, to where she began to wonder if Nick wanted her to say more. "Admitting what?"

"There's some things I haven't told you," Julia whispered, slowly lying back on her bed. "I guess one thing I really should tell you," she swallowed back her pride and said just loud enough for Nick to make out, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Wait a second," he began, she quickly talked over him.

"Just hear me out, alright?" There was silence, just the silence she gave Nick when he needed it. "I thought about you all day Monday too, and, at your house." She paused, feeling a blush coming at the thought of his face so close to hers, with his gentle hand brushing against her face. "It's a long story why I've been pulling away, and I'd rather not explain now." Julia stopped a moment, feeling the question she had been longing to ask him since Monday night. "Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it too late to accept the date offer?" her heart nearly burst from her chest it was pounding so hard, and she was sure her finger was suffocating from loss of blood with the phone cord wrapped around it so tightly.

"You're still interested?" Nick sounded somewhat surprised, Julia noticed, and she was surprised he had even asked.

What shocked her more, however, was the next set of words that played on her lips, "Nick, you gave a chance and tried to get me to notice you. I noticed, and now it's my turn to take a risk. Yes, I am interested, and if you're still willing, I'll go with you."

A/N I don't think I did this chapter as well as I could have, but please review and tell me what you think. Thanks!


	8. chapter 7

As the days slowly ticked by, gradually making way for Saturday night, Julia began to wonder if maybe her suddenly accepting Nick's date was too impulsive. Why would he be different enough for her to break her secret vow? Why is she even bothering when she knew nothing lasted forever?

All this thinking must have revolved around the fact she was finding herself _changing. _Even if a guy looked slightly attractive, she could always eventually brush him off her mind. And, since Nick was different, she was shrinking back in fear.

Her protected heart wanted to take the risk, especially because it had gotten a taste of something it had never known before. Love. Even if she wasn't admitting to it, and the mere thought of setting herself up to get hurt, only made her shrink back more, deeper inside herself.

When Saturday finally arrived she wasn't even sure she wanted to follow through with the date. What had come over her anyway, that made her call him and accept? It was completely not herself at all. It was someone else trying to pry herself out in the open, to be normal and be able to openly fall for Nick.

"So," Landon said Saturday morning, watching his daughter stumble quietly in the kitchen, her hair mopped and matted against her head. "You've got a date tonight? With Nick?"

Julia, who had almost forgotten in her half conscious state, froze in the middle of the kitchen and slowly turned to meet her father. She looked down at her gray sweats then at her long nightshirt that had a picture of a teddy bear on it, thinking rapidly. "Uhuh," she replied absentmindedly, knowing her father was watching her intently, obviously amazed.

"This is new," he said slowly, as if she didn't know. "Before you go, I would like a word with him." she gave him a face and started for the cereal cupboard, reaching up for some "Frosted Flakes" and bringing it down to her counter.

"Dad," she said, "He's your patient, what could you possibly say to him." Julia looked back at her father who, like so many other times she had seen him, was sitting at their dining table with his coffee mug in hand. He grinned up at her when she replied and pushed himself out of the chair.

"Hey, just because he's my patient doesn't mean I can't give him 'The talk'," he motioned two dialogue signs with his hands as he said "The talk". Julia laughed at him, seeing him acting so incredibly ridiculous.

"Dad," she swatted at him and poured her bowl of cereal, moving away from him quickly when he tried to get her back.

"You know, your Grandfather really gave me that talk when I asked your mother out on our first date." He smiled, thinking back on it, "He could scare anyone, he was the reverend after all! He especially didn't like me, so I really was lectured and he eyed me every time I left with Jamie as if I wasn't to be trusted." He dumped his coffee mug in the sink and leaned against it.

"Grandpa did? Really?" Julia was amazed, her grandfather, with exception of some strictness, hadn't seemed at all the way her father was explaining.

Landon nodded, "He had good reasons," he commented, while Julia settled herself down at the empty dining table, listening as she munched her breakfast. "I was pretty messed up, then. I'm actually very lucky to be where I stand, with my medical career. The way my life was steering, I wouldn't have even made it this far." He shook his head to himself, and Julia knew he wasn't on the same conversation they were on a minute before.

He was back in his past, remembering his High School days, but most of all, remembering her mom. His mind was going back to his first date with her, and how special it must have been. It was usually his first date he would bring up to Julia out of nowhere, when he would have these memories. She wondered more then once what had been so special about that date, and why it would cling to him for the rest of his life.

By the time she was done with her breakfast, Landon had left the room, getting ready for work. Slowly she pushed herself out of her chair and rinsed her bowl in the sink, staring out into her backyard, her mind falling over her mom.

It was so confusing what she felt toward her mother. She felt a longing to know her, and a bitterness that made her hate her more then anything. She never had a mother figure to turn to, but she wasn't sure she even wanted one after she had learned her father could answer probably just as well as any women. It was still hard, to figure out what her mind had decided it felt toward her mom.

Suddenly the phone gave a shrill ring from the kitchen wall it dangled on, signaling Julia's attention. "I got it, Dad!" she called, running over and answering, "hello?"

"Ah, yes, this is Mrs. Brookes, may I speak with Dr. Carter?" Julia immediately noted that Mrs. Brookes was Nick's mom, but kept this to herself. It would only be stating the obvious if she said any of this out loud.

"Sure," she replied, stepping back from the phone, "Dad, Mrs. Brookes wants a word with you!"

A moment later Landon entered the kitchen with a business suite on and a red tie, tightening it around his neck. "Mrs. Brookes?" he verified before he took the phone, Julia nodded and handed it to him. "Ah, Mrs. Brookes, I've been wanting a word with you, I'm so glad you called."

Julia slowly slid behind the kitchen wall and listened in, still wanting to know why Nick was my father's patient. "Well, he's been doing really well lately. I'm honestly amazed!"—he sighed heavily to the response he heard--, "Oh, that's too bad. I'm very sorry. No—no, don't worry about that. I think he's as close to recovery as we can get him to."

There was a pause then, a long one. "Well, recovery is a tricky thing, Mrs. Brookes. I've seen some cases where the patient has died with rarely any signs, and those who were on the brink of death live miraculously." Julia swallowed hard, was Nick dying? "Oh, right, right. Uhuh," Landon was just in the middle of tying his show, when he paused and looked very serious. "No, I'm afraid not. Mrs. Brookes, we've discussed this before. Running is not an option for him anymore---I know, I know, running is very important to him, but, and I think you agree with me, his health is more important then a hobby. Okay, sure. I'll see you and Nick this Friday. Sure thing, bye."

Julia stood in front of her mirror, painting a light touch of blue eye shadow over her eyes. Her hair was let down, spiraling down to her shoulders, her curls looking nearly perfect. She stared as she finished with a light blush looking from her boring gray eyes, to the thinness of her lips. She wasn't much to look at, she knew that much. Why everyone told her she looked like her mother, she'll never know.

Julia had a photo of her mother, and she could easily see why Landon thought she was beautiful; she was more then beautiful. She was lovely.

She had a smile that from first glance tell anyone she couldn't be anymore happier, that this smile was her no longer holding back. Her wedding dress clang to her slim body as she stood leaning against Landon, who had that same bright smile; a smile Julia had never seen from her father. Ever.

"Julia!" Landon called from the front of the house, "Nick's here!" Immediately Julia ran her fingers through her hair one last time, desperately trying to look as perfect as her mother did in her picture. Her trying was in vain, and she knew it.

She sighed heavily and grabbed her purse, heading toward her front door. Nick stood waiting, with a light blue shirt on, and some really nice slacks. Her breath was taken away from the sight, nearly immediately. His dark hair hung low over his piercing green eyes. He smiled warmly at her, a smile that sent Julia's heart on a race. "He—Hey," she stuttered, trying to smile her shaky, nervous smile.

"Hi," he replied, glancing at Landon, silently asking for permission to lead Julia away now.

"Have fun," Landon said in answering, watching Julia take Nick's hand and being led out the door. "And hey!"---Nick paused and looked back, "I want her home by ten."

"Yes, sir," he said back politely, once more shocking Julia by the respect he kept proving he had. She glanced at her father, who smiled as he watched them climb into Nick's car. And, suddenly the wanting to know what was wrong with Nick came haunting into her mind; the phone call that very morning still fresh in her memory.

When she entered his car, she couldn't help but be amazed at how incredibly clean it looked compared to the first time she had ridden in it. No loose papers of trash or left over drive-through meals; the shirt she had recalled seeing and pushing it aside, wasn't even anywhere in sight. His car was spotless.

Nick caught her staring around his car, from his front floor to even leaning behind her seat and looking (awing) at the cleanliness, and couldn't help but grin to himself as he pulled out of her driveway. "You know, it's not a miracle for a guy to be clean," he commented, dragging Julia's thoughts to him.

Immediately she gave a short, quiet gasp to herself, realizing how rude she must have looked. And this was her first date! "I—I know," she stuttered, shifting quietly in her seat, now trying avoid his eye contact completely. "It—it just looked, um, different."

"Right," he said, smiling at her, sending a series of colors to creep into her face. She was humiliated! First she came to his house almost two weeks before and nearly sent his family the message she didn't want to be there, and now she was staring rudely around Nick's car, looking for anything that could be out of place.

"So, where are we going?" She asked, hastily changing the subject. Nick grew quiet a moment, concentrating deeply on switching lanes in the street, while Julia listened to the click, click, click, of the turning signal. The car pulled into the lane, preparing to turn, when the light suddenly changed red.

Nick slowed, stopped and waited, glancing impatiently at the clock. Julia began to wonder why he was acting so—jumpy. That's the only way she could describe it, other then extreme nerves, but that could have easily worked too. "You'll see," he eventually answered her question at least five minutes later, right after the light turned green.

"Ok," she replied, watching outside her window, trying to figure out where he was taking her, looking for any hints she might find. However, they were in the middle of shopping centers and coffee shops, fast food places, nothing fit for a date like the one she wanted to go on; a nice dinner at a decent restaurant.

So far, though, Nick was being just about as mysterious as he could be. She couldn't even pick up any clues at all. And when he eventually pulled into the nicest restaurant in town, she wasn't even prepared for it.

A/N What do you think? Like the cliffie I left you? Sorry about that, and sorry this chapter took so long... I had a MAJOR writer's block! I'm ok now... I think. Anyways, I know where I'm going next... so... expect an update soon!!!!!!!


	9. chapter 8

When they were seated, Julia was still in shock due to that fact she was sitting in a restaurant she was sure she would never set foot in. The music was even played by a paid pianist, who played anything you requested. The inside was amazing to look at too, the floor was made out of marble Julia realized, and the walls had either beautiful famous paintings, or sculptures. Even the waiter was dressed extremely nice, with a nearly perfect uniform, no stains or anything.

"Hello, I'm your waiter," the man said passing both Nick and Julia their menus, "You may call me Edgar," he stood a moment, letting them both get a slight glimpse at there menus then added," Is there anything I could get for you right now?"

Nick put his menu down and smiled, "No, I think we need a little while to figure out what we want."

The waiter nodded and took a step back, "When your ready I'll take your order then," and then he hurried off.

Julia picked up her menu and opened it up; completely uncertain of what she wanted to choose for her meal. Her eyes widened as she tried to read the different choices, suddenly realizing that she couldn't read it at all. "What's wrong with this menu?" she asked immediately, flipping it over and over, hoping to find an English side.

Nick looked up from his menu looking just as, if not more, confused. "My dad failed to mention the menu would be in French!" he scanned the middle of the page, looking, just like Julia, for any English word he could find.

"French?" she repeated, "How are we supposed to order if it's in French?"

"Umm," Nick looked just as lost as she was, "Hold on." He quickly stood from their table and left in a hurry, leaving Julia with the French menu all alone. He returned back rather swiftly, leading another waiter to the table. "Sorry to bother you, but, neither one of us can read French, and we don't know how to order."

The waiter, an older woman, took a step forward and took up one of the menus. "Well, what is it you want?" Nick didn't quite understand how he was to answer if he didn't even know what was even on the menu.

"Well, what is there?" he countered.

The woman looked like she had something better to do, though nonetheless took up the question. She went over each different meal until it came to barbeque chicken sandwich that caught Julia's attention easily. So far it was the only, _normal_ sounding food so far, and she wasn't about to pass it up.

"I'll take that!" she blurted out, getting all excited knowing she wasn't going to be eating anything foreign. Nick smiled at her sudden outburst and leaned his elbows on the table and nodded.

"Me too," he stated.

"Glad you finally made your decision," the woman said haughtily. Taking their menus with her, "I'll just go inform your waiter---it's Edgar, right?"

"Yeah," Nick replied, and the woman was gone. Nick watched the lady storm off until she was gone and then turned his attention back on Julia, who was nervously picking at her napkin she had laid across her lap. "So," Nick started, pushing his weight from his elbows, "Do you like this so far?"

Julia dropped her napkin and nodded, smiling the smile she had practiced many times in front of her mirror. The smile she had seen her mother wear in her only picture of her. "I love it!" she answered, looking around the restaurant in awe again. "It's just amazing, it really is."

Nick smiled, feeling a satisfaction he feared he wouldn't get from her. Ever. Yet, he did. She was enjoying the night so far, and that was all he needed to know. "I know," he answered, staring around the place too. "I used to come here once a year. With my grandparents."

Julia glanced at him, "Used to?"

"They died last year," he replied in a light whisper. "I swear they understood me better then my parents. I could talk to them about anything." Julia caught the distance in his eyes and knew he wasn't exactly there, and was lost in some memory; mimicking her father almost. "You know what though?" he looked up at her and smiled, "They loved each other, a love that most people never know. They died nearly at the same too, I would swear on everything it was because neither them could handle life without one another if they didn't die together."

Julia remained quiet after he finished, gripping her napkin tightly. She never believed in love, never thought it was real. Yet, here was Nick, her date, telling her the story of his grandparents undying love for each other. And, somehow hearing this from someone other then her father, or from Cassie, it sounded like it just might have been true; like it was more then a Hollywood fairy tale.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered, not knowing what else to say.

Nick nodded, "Me too." Silence filled a space between them for an eternity it seemed, before the waitress interrupted it with there dinner.

"Two barbeque chicken sandwiches," the waitress stated as she slid both plates in front of the couple. "Can I get you drinks?"

Nick leaned forward and grinned, a mischievous look in his eyes, preparing for something, and somehow Julia knew it. "Uh, actually I would like chocolate milk," he paused, glanced at Julia then finished, "And if you don't mind, can you put a little bit of whip cream on top?"

The waitress almost looked disgusted by the request, but kept to herself and nodded silently. "And you miss?"

Julia took a moment and thought about it, suddenly realizing how good chocolate milk sounded then. She looked up at the waitress seeing the woman obviously wanted both a response and a normal response at that. As she thought about it, she caught Nick's gaze, seeing his smile and suddenly didn't need to think anymore. "I'll take the same," she replied, thinking about how chocolate milk would go with a barbeque chicken sandwich.

"Whip cream as well?"

"Umm..."

"Its nothing without the whip cream," Nick leaned in and whispered, just close enough to where Julia could feel his breath running gently over her face and lightly down her neck.

"Yes, whip cream," she finally answered, trying to sound professional. Obviously knowing that you can't be professional and order chocolate milk. The woman nodded and walked off. When she was out of sight, both Nick and Julia burst out laughing together, almost on queue. "So what's with the chocolate milk?" Julia finally asked him when she regained herself from her sudden giggle attack.

"It's a tradition for me," Nick replied, "My grandparents used to order me a chocolate milk when I was younger, and I guess I never got tired of it."

"Well, I guess no one can blame you."

"Nope," Nick answered, watching the waitress come back with their drinks.

"Where are you taking me?" Julia giggled out, as Nick drove through the night on a highway road.

"You'll see," he replied, "It's a surprise." Julia gave a noise of defiance, not realizing yet how comfortable she was suddenly around him. Nick smiled at her as she crossed her arms and tried her very best to look annoyed; which wasn't as convincing as she hoped it would be. He also couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked, even in the darkened car.

In fact, just keeping his eyes on the road and off of her seemed like a challenge, and it was. She was lovely, and comparing her to the road he had to focus on, he wished it could have been her. Nick couldn't help but already know he loved everything about her, all the way from her unique confidence, to her outspoken self. She had this light about her that captured his heart from that first Monday when they met, and that light hadn't gone away. Nick was even sure it might have been expanding.

Julia sighed in the passenger seat, and started giggling again, this time for no real reason. She was sure they extra sugar from the chocolate was getting to her and making her far more hyper then she really wanted. "Want to play a game?" she asked, her voice light and beautiful when it reached Nick's ears.

"Sure," he answered.

"Ok, this game is called Truth, alright?"

"Alright?" he questioned, letting her explain.

"Well, basically we ask each other questions, any question we want. And if the person answers then it's the next persons turn but if the person doesn't answer then they have to come up with a really good question that the first person can't answer. If the first person answers they win, if not, the other wins. What do you think?"

Nick slightly confused, nodded, "You first."

Julia bit her lip, she desperately wanted to ask him about being her father's patient, but thought the timing was too off. "What are your interests?" she finally asked, shifting in her passenger seat. Nick thought a few minutes, watching the road as he considered.

"I've always enjoyed reading," he said, pondering some more. "I like writing poetry. That's really it."

"No sports?"

Nick grew immensely quiet, making Julia feeling guilty from the question, how was she supposed to know this would happen? All she heard from the car ride was the sound of the tires rolling over the road and the sound of the rumbling engine against the deafening silence. "No," he finally answered, rolling his car into a side dirt road.

Suddenly the ride grew unsteady and soon the car was bouncing down the road, causing Nick's full attention, allowing more and more silence to slip into his car. Julia tried not to think about the question and just couldn't figure out if she offended him for not. To her it was just a casual question, but to him it seemed painful to even hear the words out loud.

"Here we are," he whispered pulling up to a riverbank. Julia climbed out of the car, walking toward the blackened water, feeling a cool breeze sweep over her. She shivered and crossed her arms, watching Nick join her side.

"It's—It's lovely," Julia stuttered, holding her arms more desperately around her for warmth. Nick noticed how cold she was and left her to grab a long sleeve shirt he left in his trunk. When he reached her again, he gently helped her put it on, and lightly wrapped his hand around her shoulders. "Thanks," she whispered, looking up at him, seeing him so very close.

"It's no problem," he answered, smiling gently at her, "Come on, you haven't lovely yet." He started to lead her away, and slid his hand around hers; savoring the softness of them, noticing how small and delicate they seemed to be against his rough, callused hands.

Julia smiled and let her be led away, feeling the warmth of his hand wrapped around her own and smelling his scent from his shirt she wore to keep her warmer. She almost felt dizzy feeling him so close and feeling this overwhelming joy by just being at his side, by just being in his presence.

"This," he suddenly broke the silence and pulled back dangling leaves from a willow tree, "Is lovely." When Julia stepped through, she was sure she was in some Hollywood film. Everything that surrounded seemed too perfect to just be there by nature, but was. It was the most beautiful sight Julia had ever seen.

"Oh, my god...." She breathed, stepping through. A small lake surrounded, with a bloom full of different colored wildflowers that seemed to fill all of the plants that sat on the edge of the bank. Fireflies flickered around too, while Julia secretly imagined them being fairies enchanting the world around her and Nick, only around her and Nick.

Against the lake as well, was the moonlight as it cast its silver orb in the water as its shadow, dancing upon the ripples of the water. Beauty didn't even describe it, nor did lovely. There just were no words that could describe it, which made the place just a bit more special. "Come here," he whispered, "This way." He took her hand in his once more and led her to the other side of the willow and she caught side of an old rowboat sitting against the bank.

Nick walked her over and helped her in, pushing the boat out into the water just enough to so he could paddle out. "This is my favorite place," he whispered quietly.

Julia nodded, completely understanding why. It could have captured anyone's heart if they stepped through. This was definitely as magical place people look for all the time, but usually never find it. "I'm glad you're having such a great time," he said lightly, catching her gaze. "Do you even know how beautiful you are?" In that instant, Nick longed to lean over and kiss her, seeing her sitting so elegantly under the moonlight, with so many flowers that could never match her beauty and fireflies flickering, giving a heavenly glow behind her.

Julia was speechless, not knowing what to say. That was the sweetest compliment anyone had ever given her. And what made it even more perfect was that fact she could tell he meant it. When he said she was beautiful, he wasn't just saying it; his eyes told her all. It was more then just looking at him, she was looking deep into his soul. Just reading his eyes and thoughts.

"Julia--," Nick began, starting to lean toward her.

Suddenly the shift of weight changed the balance in the boat, and the next thing the two knew, they were falling into freezing cold water. Nick came up feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to kiss her, especially when he knew more then anybody how the weight on a rowboat is so important. However, Julia came up laughing hysterically, feeling the coolness of the water running into her skin.

"I'm—I'm sorry," Nick muttered, swimming toward her and the boat. "Here let me help you in." When he reached her, he steadied himself and gently wrapped his hands around her waist to give her a quick boost. Julia was almost in the boat when her hands slipped against the wood and she fell back in. Nick caught her, but also went down for a second while he tried to hold her up.

She once again started laughing and, for reasons she would never know, she willingly wrapped her arms around his neck, and buried her face into his chest, laughing. Nick was surprised seeing this, and loved the feeling of her head against his chest and her hands around his neck.

When she eventually regained herself and pulled back, her face still lit up in silent humor, Nick couldn't believe how close she was. And she couldn't really believe it either. Her hair stringed together in the moonlight the water drops still clinging looked like it could have been crystal. Her eyes were a light gray, and they looked silver in the moonlight.

Nick eventually couldn't hold back the sudden emotion that struck him then, as he adored beauty. Within the next instant he had her lips captured in his own, tasting the sweetness of them that lingered there even after he pulled back. He feared when he looked in her eyes, he would see the same fear he did that Monday night, when she pulled away and left so quickly. However, when his eyes caught with hers, there was a familiar sight in them, she was feeling the same way he was, and he knew it.

Slowly he cupped her chin and brought her lips to his one last time, drinking in the taste, before he gently began to walk her back to the bank, knowing neither of them were ready for more. And also knew that her father would be wanting her home soon.

A/N what do you think?? sorry if this chapter was too long... anyways... I don't think I did as good on this chapter as I could have done.. but plz tell me what you think... thanx!


	10. chapter 9

Nick walked Julia slowly up to her door, glancing at his watch. It read 9:56; he still had a few minutes left with her. She shivered next to him, and immediately he wrapped his arm around her shoulder trying to give her more warmth. Her shirt was still damp from the accident at the lake and he began to wonder what her father would say when he found his daughter wet.

When they reached her front door, Nick pulled her to him one last time, embracing her. "I hope you had a good time," he whispered, eventually feeling her return the sweet gesture, loving the way her arms wrapped around him nearly perfectly.

"I did," she answered lightly, her voice lingering in the air between them for a few extra moments. When she pulled away, her heart began to race once more, just seeing him so close to her. She was extremely nervous, yet excited, getting the same feeling she felt when he had first kissed her earlier in the night. Suddenly wanting him to kiss her one last time.

As if he read her mind, he let his hand fall gently around her waist and brought his lips down to her own. Giving her a sweet, short kiss. "I'll see you at school?" he asked, almost questioningly, fearing she would run from him again.

This time, she smiled, "Yeah." He leaned down and kissed her forehead, and then with one last touch across her cheek, he turned and left. Julia watched him all the way until he reached his car, seeing him climb in, watching her all the while. When she couldn't see him anymore, she turned and entered her house. Right on time.

Landon sat in the living room, reading a book, wearing his glasses. Glasses Julia for some reason always thought they looked ridiculous on him. He looked up when he heard her come in, not even bothering to look at the clock and smiled when he saw her. "Did you have fun?"

Julia blushed slightly, remembering the kiss at the lake, and smiled despite herself. "Yes, I did," she mumbled, "I had a great time."

Landon stared at his daughter for a few minutes, trying to figure out what it was about her that made him question where they went and what they did. Eventually he realized it was because her hair was damp, stringing together as if she had been swimming, and her clothes looked just about as wet. "Why are you wet?" he asked finally, still pondering. He knew more then anyone, how much she didn't like swimming, or getting wet period.

Julia smiled and said only two words, "The Lake." Without another word she turned and headed toward her room. When she reached it, she changed her damp clothes into her pajamas, and sat down onto her bed. Closing her eyes, she relived the night with Nick, over and over again. He was different, and she was tired of denying it, Nick was special.

When Julia woke the next morning, she smiled to herself as she crawled out of bed. Remembering the night before was all she could do that morning, reliving it over and over again, just as she had done the night before. Even through Sunday morning church Julia couldn't concentrate on the message.

Not that she always listened intently to every message, but she usually at least listened and took note on what was said. Luckily, Landon was never too into his faith, which made Julia much like him. He was always at the hospital and didn't really have time to read the bible, and he just believed treating people with respect and believing in the gospel. That was just about as far as Julia ever went with her faith too.

However, not only that particular morning but also the ones before that as well, she hadn't been able to really make sense of what was being said. She wanted more then anything to take after her mother, who she knew very well had a nearly perfect faith. According to her father, even when she died, her faith and beliefs never left her, she died knowing she was going to heaven; if there was one.

After church Julia told her father she was planning on meeting Nick at the coffee shop, they had first met. Landon didn't mind and told her to be back before nine, which wasn't too demanding since it was only noon when she asked.

Climbing into her car, she plugged her keys into the ignition and was planning on pulling out of the parking lot, when once again her eye caught the cross that dangled from her key chain. Doing just as she had done before, Julia pulled the key out and held the cross tenderly in her hand. Why Julia still kept it when she still wasn't sure whether she hated or loved her mother, she'll never know.

When she was a child the cross had caught her attention, and Landon thought it would be nice for her to have something that belonged to Jamie. The cross shimmered in the morning light, and for once Julia almost felt slight connection with her mother. The feeling that somehow she was being watched over...

Suddenly in the silence weighing down on her, her cell phone rang and brought Julia back to reality. "Hello?"

"Hey," came Nick's voice on the other end, "Do you still want to meet?"

She blushed slightly, once more reliving the night before. After a moment she answered quietly, her voice leaving her at the instant. "Yes."

When Julia pulled into the parking lot, she caught glimpse of Nick leaning against his car. She suddenly was overcome with nerves, not knowing what she was to say after the night they had spent together. She couldn't think of how she was going to react when she saw him. Should she hug him? Kiss him? Do both?

She wasn't even sure she wanted a relationship yet---sure the date had been perfect and Nick seemed like the best person she had ever met, but she still was cautious. Most of her friends who had been in the same place she was, thinking nothing could go wrong in the relationship, something always did. She wasn't sure if she wanted to take the risk of being hurt when so many others had been.

Fear rose in the pit of her stomach as she retreated from her car. What if Nick suddenly thought that after that night they were suddenly a couple? That would be an awful mistake! How would she get out of that one?

However, as she approached him, he didn't look like he was about to make it known they were together. He didn't kiss her openly, like she thought, the most he did was embrace her quickly then take her by the hand. Just being really casual and calming Julia's nerves drastically.

"Hey," he finally said when they made way into the coffee shop, "How was church?"

Julia thought about it for a moment and eventually answered, "It was good." Her reply was kind of distant, and Nick could tell straight off she really wasn't thinking about church.

After they ordered their coffee, they both slid into an empty table, sitting across from each other. "So," Nick began, obviously trying to start a conversation, but not knowing where to begin. Julia did.

"Well," she said, her confidence growing, "I believe it's your turn." She couldn't help but smile toward his confusion; he looked adorable when he was lost. Certainly not the stable guy she thought she saw before. "We're still playing the truth game, and I believe it's your turn to ask a question."

Nick smiled and nodded, actually giving thought into his question! Not just randomly throwing one out, Julia found she admired this about him. He seemed to think everything over before he reacted or responded. As she waited she studied his features intently, from his light green eyes, to the way his face curved, oh so perfectly, into an oval. His broad shoulders, made her want to feel them, along with just the way his body moved with different gestures. He was perfect! There couldn't have been any flaws with him at all.

"What changed your mind?" he suddenly asked, "About me, I mean."

Julia's eyes drifted away from him and she found them staring outside the shop's window, watching people walking down the sidewalk, or the cars flying by on the road. She wasn't exactly sure. She wasn't even sure now why he made such a difference. But, she didn't want to end the truth game, she wanted to know more about him, she needed to know more. Like why he was her father's patient, for instance.

"I don't know," she eventually said quietly, "You-- you stood out, I guess." She glanced at him, and she could tell he wanted more. "I couldn't get my mind off you. You were always on my mind, even when I didn't want it there." She suddenly drew in her breath; she didn't mean to say that!

Nick looked at her for a moment, then asked, "Why?"

"I—I can't explain," she said quickly, wondering why she was there to begin with. And suddenly felt the strong urge to give an excuse to leave. Running away, of course, was exactly what she was doing. But explaining something as complex as why she still isn't sure whether love really existed, would be too hard for her.

Yet, she already knew she was far too close to falling in love. She was boarding her very limits she had set for herself, and she was about to go over that forbidden line. Nick stared at her carefully, waiting for her to answer; an answer that would eventually never come.

"I—I should go," she whispered, grabbing her purse and pushing herself up from her chair quickly.

"Julia--," Nick tried reaching for her hand, but she was out of his reach before he had the chance.

Julia felt her heart pounding, and had to fight the strong urge to hold her tears from falling. What was she doing?! This was the guy she had a moment ago called perfect, yet one question comes up and she's running away from the situation again. When she reached her car, Nick was only a few feet behind her.

"Julia, please," he said shakily. Julia just kept walking, ignoring him, her heart breaking.

"I'm sorry,"

Nick proceeded behind her, "Julia, stop running from me!" When he saw that she obviously wasn't listening, and climbing into her car, he had to take up this chance to tell her exactly what was on his mind. Without much said he grasped her hand in his and just gently pulled her toward him. It hurt him when he felt her tense up, as if she didn't want to be there, and also telling him she was frightened of something.

"I really should go," Julia breathed quietly.

"What is it your not telling me?" he asked lightly, "I care about you so much, but you just don't seem to want to let me in." his hand played lightly down her hair and a little down her back as he held her close to him. The feeling of his hands moving sent shivers down her spine. "I've never felt this way before, Julia, you're the only person I want to be with."

The tears Julia tried to fight back suddenly fell from her eyes and slipped lightly down her cheek as she buried her head into Nick's chest. "I can't--," she paused and shook her head in frustration.

"You can't, what?"

Julia slowly backed from his arms, and looked down, focusing on the pavement. "I can't do this. We're not going to work – I'm sorry." She backed away from him, still keeping her eyes from meeting his. Nick didn't try and stop her this time. He didn't try and grab her hand or call out for her. Even as she entered her car, she heard nothing and felt her tears coming more swiftly now.

How could she have been so naïve? She was a fool; love was just the beginning of a crashing downfall. If she went to deep, she would be hurting herself in the end, just like her father was devastated, and still is, after her mother died years before. She couldn't handle the idea.

Her heart broke when she pulled out of the parking lot, and she knew this was the right thing. Despite what she was feeling, she knew she was only deceiving herself, trying to prove that she could really have fallen in love with Nick and everything being okay. With one last glance at Nick's staring figure, watching her drive away, she felt another set of tears forming in her eyes.

A/N I'm sorry it took so long for me to update this chapter... my computer wouldn't let my internet work!! But I have internet again.. so I'll be updating my next chapter soon! so plaz review and tell me what u think .


	11. Chapter 10

When Julia made it home, tears still pricked at the back of her eyes, as if just waiting for the right moment to fall freely down her cheek. She didn't get it, why was this so hard for her? Sure, she had expected to be a little upset, but the longing to take back the words she said just ate away at her heart.

She sat motionless in her car, feeling another set of tears forming without permission in her eyes. Guilt piled down onto her heart as she relived the scene of her telling Nick she didn't want to be with him. It wasn't just guilt that wrenched her heart unwillingly, but also the fact that she wasn't entirely sure she meant what she said.

Julia was sure that the heart-wrenching feeling she was getting was what she was supposed to feel after breaking up with someone and knowing she was breaking his heart, but somehow thought it was just a bit more. Why would she still be feeling as if what she did was a mistake if it really wasn't to begin with? Had she really fallen deeper into this love thing then she wanted?

After what seemed an eternity to her, Julia finally slid out of her car and walked toward her house. Landon was working at the hospital that day, so she didn't even have her father for comfort. All that she had to turn to was an empty house that now seemed to echo her every step and move.

When she reached her room, she dropped her purse on her bed and numbly walked toward her bathroom, searching for a tissue to help dry her tears. However she couldn't find what she was looking for in the dark and felt the side of the wall for the light switch. The light immediately burst brightly, nearly blinding Julia. Her focus remained off for a moment or two, blurry from the brightness of the bathroom light and the tears that still crowded her eyes, but when her focus came in clearly she saw herself staring back as she used to be.

It was the Julia she'd seen growing up, being the plain, smart, boring person she'd been her whole life. Sure she'd had friends that accepted her, even when she seemed too much of a bookworm know-it-all. Yet, even with Cassie she never felt like she could open up and be this part of her she never showed another; with the exception of Nick.

Even when she tried to deny what she saw in Nick, she knew exactly why she couldn't keep her mind off him. At first when they had met, she was her usual critical person, pulling back every bit of her to stay safe from the stranger. Yet, as time progressed, she noticed that it became easier for her to make jokes or tease or just full out saying what she wanted to say!

When she was in Nick's kitchen and they kissed for the first time, she didn't pull away, nor did she really want to, until she was terrified by herself. In a sense she had noticed throughout the last two to three weeks she felt free of the stress in school. Of course the only real time she felt like she was truly herself was the night before when she went on the most perfect first date she could ask for. Yet, even when she was hiding from him, just in that alone opened up a new side of her.

Her hair stuck to the side of her face from the wetness of her tears and her blue eyes glittered from the water within. Her lips looked drawn into a tight line, with a slight frown to them, her face in general looking just a bit too usual.

Frustrated she switched the light off and retreated back to her room, wiping her eyes once more to keep the tears from falling against her will. Her bed looked like the only comfort she could get, so she plopped on it and gathered her favorite stuffed dog and held it tightly into her arms.

As she lied motionless, she scanned her room looking at the cleanliness and feeling even emptier at seeing so much space. Everything seemed even stiller then she had seen it before, it was as if her breath was the only motion that floated within her room. With the exception of the small blinking light from the base on her phone, signaling she had a message.

A deep pang hit her deeply inside, it was from Nick, it had to of been from him. Slowly she rose from the bed and started walking toward her desk, coming upon her phone base, still gripping her stuffed dog. Four messages blinked out at her, which meant she had three possibilities of it being Nick.

She pushed the button, waiting for the messages to play:

"Hey, Julia, it's me Cassie. Just wanted to ask you how your date went last night and see if you feel like coming over to hang out later; okay, well I'll see you later, bye!"

Julia sighed and decided she would pass on the offer to go to her friends, knowing if Cassie found out about her and Nick she would undoubtedly give her some lecture.

"Julia, this is Landon," her father's voice came on next, "I'll be at the hospital late tonight, will you be alright by yourself? Call me if you need anything at all." He paused, "Well, I hope you had a good time with Nick today, I'll see you most likely tomorrow. I love you, bye."

Then, the third played loudly, and the voice made her heart pound and ache even more. "Julia—uh—hi, it's Nick. Look, I'm pretty sure you don't want to talk to me, and its obvious you aren't really intending on seeing me again." He paused, and Julia heard him breathing hard on the other line, hiding some emotion. "I at least want to be your friend if you can't allow more. You're the most amazing girl I have ever met, your intelligent, fun, loving, and so much more. I would hate to lose you as a friend, and even through friends perhaps we can get to know one another better then we already know.—Beep!"

Julia sighed, hating herself for ever limiting the message minutes, and realized there was the one last message she hadn't checked and knew it was a continuation of his first, she played it.

"Sorry, I'll just hurry up and finish. I don't want to end the truth game with you, because," Julia gave a small smile toward the sound of his voice rising slightly; "you technically gave an answer, which according to the rules, still leaves you in the game. Well, please call me, and tell me what you think of still being friends." He took another short pause then added briefly, "Stay beautiful."

Julia almost felt another set of tears rising behind her eyes, but blinked them back knowing if she starting crying again they wouldn't stop. And once more the sight of her usual self in her bathroom mirror stared back at her, and she reheard the end of his message telling her to stay beautiful.

                    :::::::::

"Good morning," Landon called over a newspaper when he heard Julia come in. She only groaned in response, "Sleep well?"

"No!" she said, searching through the pantry for something she could eat for breakfast, eventually deciding on a bagel. Landon put down his paper and eyed her a moment, looking straight through her.

"Anything you want to talk about?" he questioned, but Julia just shook her head, and walked out of the kitchen.

"Sorry dad, but this time you can't help me."

             ::::::::::::::

"Julia," Cassie greeted, "Where's Nick?"

"Oh," Julia distantly looked the other way, not sure how her friend would react to the news, and not wanting to draw a scene. "It didn't work --," she suddenly paused, feeling a fresh set of tears building in her eyes. Not now, not now! She thought frantically, wiping her eyes. "We just didn't work out."

"Oh," Cassie nodded, "Nothing works out with you, does it?"

The words cut her deeply, what could that have meant?? "Cassie, what do you mean?" Her friend stood and pondered on the question, standing in a thinking position with her arms crossed defiantly.

"I mean, you deny yourself happiness." Without another word Cassie walked off, leaving Julia feeling even worse then ever.

A/N ok.. I know this is a short chapter... and I'm really sorry it took me so long t update... but lately I've been having writer's blocks.. so I can't write my ideas down like I want too. Anyways... I'll try to have a new update soon. But thx for ur patience


	12. chapter 11

The next few days went by slowly for Julia, with time passing her as if it were a snails pace. Even her school work and projects couldn't make time spin in its circle faster. Though, eventually, the end of the long daunting week came on Friday when the bell of her sixth period class rang.

She had avoided friends all week, since all of them hung around Cassie and it was that particular friend Julia refused to see. What her friend had said was even still brought into her mind at times, even when she wished it would stop tormenting her.

_I mean, you deny yourself happiness…_

Julia shook her head toward the thought and kept walking through the crowd of anxious students who most likely had a weekend planned with parties and friend hangouts, and even, perhaps, planning a date or two. Once again Julia stopped another set of tears that threatened to fall; she still couldn't stop that pain that hit her whenever she thought of pushing Nick away.

Yes, she had been avoiding him as well, even more so. Whenever a friend approached her she would still find sometime to talk for at least a minute or two, but when Nick tried calling for her she would disappear as fast as she could. Why, because she was afraid to let him in as just a friend.

"Julia! Julia wait!" A deep voice called from behind her. Not even stopping to think about who this person might be, Julia took off through the crowd already telling herself it was Nick who was following. "Julia! Stop!"

She didn't, at all, she only quickened her pace, brushing and running right into different students. The parking lot was just ahead and her car was in the middle, if only she parked closer!

"JULIA! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM ME?" The voice behind her boomed and that was when the familiarity of the voice echoed in her head and she came to an abrupt stop, only to turn around and face an infuriated father. "Thank God!" he said, his voice still carrying an angered edge to it. "What was that all about? You've never run from me before!"

Julia stared still in shock, trying hard to figure out how she had mistaken her father's voice for Nicks! And yet, Landon still stood waiting for an explanation. "I—I'm sorry," she began trying to hold back the tears she still fought from falling, though now she would be crying from humiliation.

"I didn't ask for an apology," Landon snapped, "I want an explanation!"

"I—I wasn't running from you, honest. It was just--," she began to scan for an object to focus on as she stuttered, not wanting to look Landon in the eyes as she explained. "I thought you were Nick, and--,"

"And you were running from Nick because?.." He cut her off, watching Julia carefully.

"He wants to be my friend, but I'm too afraid," Julia stuttered, "I let him in too much and that was far enough!"

Landon suddenly took a step back and stared at her shockingly, a fearful gaze falling into his eyes, "Okay, Julia, we need to talk!"

Julia realized immediately what was troubling her dad and shook her head before the wrong idea was put across, "Not like that Dad, hone--,"

"Where were you two on your date? Why were you wet coming home? Julia I want answers, and I want them now!"

"NO! You have the wrong idea, Nick and I never went _that_ far, I meant to say that I'm afraid to have him in my life I don't want to fall in love with him! I had never intended on you taking that all wrong, but that's what I meant." She paused for breath and could tell Landon wasn't satisfied yet, "And I was wet when I came home because when he and I were on a boat in this lake it tipped and we both fell in, alright?"

Landon stared at his daughter a moment, reading her a like a book and seeing no lies or strings attached. "Is that it then? You were only running from me because you thought I was Nick?"

Julia nodded.

"I don't see why that should make you run from him, though. He's a great person; I always enjoy having him as one of my patients. And," Landon leaned over catching her gaze with his, "He really likes you. Think about what you are doing to him by running away, if you think breaking up with him hurt, how do you think he feels seeing you hide from him?"

Julia nodded, but felt worse then before. Now how was she to see him again? But wait, was her dad encouraging her to date Nick? Why would he want her to be in the same position as he when he was hurt?

"Dad, how can you say that though?" Julia asked, "You know first hand what happens when you fall in love, right?"

Landon looked at her curiously, "Yes I do."

"And you also know what it's like to fall in love and lose them. Breaking your heart in so many places that you can't repair it; yet you still wish me to fall in love when eventually I'll lose that person too!"

"Julia, what are you talking about?"

The tears Julia fought to stay came tumbling down as she finally let out the secret she had held within for so many years. "I'm talking about you and mom and how she left you here all alone! I'm talking about you giving your heart and soul to her and her dying and leaving you here! Why do people do that??" A strange emotion filled her now, all of her feelings taking hold at once, mixed with anger, hurt, and extreme confusion.

"Julia, it was not her fault she died, she had cancer! Giving birth to you was just too much for her body to take!" Landon's anger almost started erupting again as he watched his daughter lash out at his only love and seeing the true hatred she felt for her.

"Well, if she had cancer, perhaps she shouldn't have fallen in love with you! If she cared she would have kept you away from her!"

"Julia," Landon said calmly though she could see him fighting his own emotions down, "She tried. She kept herself away from me before I even knew she had cancer and when she realized I wasn't leaving her side, she tried to leave me. It didn't work; I wasn't going to leave her alone to fight the cancer and I loved her with everything in me. And she loved me enough to try and save my life before I ever fell in love. She loved you enough to go through the pregnancy even when she knew what it held for her."

Julia's tears were close to sobs when she was about ready to push past her dad and run to her car to get away, humiliated she had just screamed her entire burdened secret she had been keeping to herself for years. Her father patiently reached out his hand and placed it on her shoulder, seeing her getting ready to run.

Landon gathered her into his arms and held her tightly, his own tears threatening to fall. "Julia, I did fall in love," he said lightly only whispering it in her ear so the passing students could not eaves drop their conversation. "But I do not regret it, I had felt something that most people in will never know even exists. And even though I miss her I know our love is still strong inside of me. That's what matters."

"But why? You're all alone now. You're pained from the loss."

"I've got you, Julia, I'm not alone. You're my forever memory of your mother and you're such a joy to have. I'm not alone. But you cannot be afraid to love, without love, life isn't even worth living!"

Julia pulled away about to respond when her eyes fell on Nick, who was standing near by. More humiliation sunk into the pit of her stomach as she remembered that she was still at school standing n the student parking lot. This meant that her peers saw crying and screaming at her father, this was getting too hard for her to take.

"How long were you standing there?" She choked out, wishing deeply that perhaps he was just a figment of her imagination though soon discovered he was really standing only as few feet away.

"Long enough," he said his voice strained. "Look, I'm sorry you felt that way about me. If you don't want me in your life then I'll gladly leave it, anything to make you happy." He paused a moment, with a thick silence falling around the two of them. "You know this might come off a little strong, but I'm going to say it anyways. I love you, and I know that it is that emotion alone that you hide from. Just know that I'm here for you and that I don't ask that you love me back. Even if we do get together I'll give you all the time you need to find out how you feel."

"Nick," Julia started he only shook his head.

"No, you need time to think about this. Bye Julia, I hope you find happiness with or without me."

A/N Sorry everyone that I didn't update this any sooner. I know it was over a month since I last posted a chapter and I'm extremely sorry. Alot of stuff happened that kept me emotionally occupied... My b/f and I broke up and my dog became really sick not long after and then there was the small part with me gettinggrounding off the computer for almost 2 weeks... so again I'm really sorry and I'll update this next chpater sooner


	13. chapter 12

Julia stared after Nick as he disappeared back towards his car. She didn't even understand how everything came down to this. Things before she met him were perfect, everything was simple. The only complications in her life was her own problems she had kept bottled up inside. He, however, he was complicated, and so was her friends around her.

She had realized everyone had matured and became more complex while she remained simple with very little true stress. "Julia, do you need to talk about this some more?" she heard her father ask in concern; he must have been looking at the heart broken stare she had stained into her eyes.

"No, dad," Julia replied harshly, "You've done enough for one day haven't you? Prying into my deepest secrets about mom and you letting me make a fool of myself in front of the school?" She didn't know why, but suddenly all the insecurity, the anger, the negativity she had locked away inside herself came out in rivers of rage; and to her father, the man who didn't deserve it at all. "No, Dad, you've ruined everything else already, just," the words were on her lips before she could stop herself, "Just stay out of my life!"

Landon froze to the sound of those words and stared with shock and pain reflecting in his eyes. "Julia," he mumbled in a short plea, praying deeply he hadn't heard those words coming from the only other family he had, and his daughter no less?

"Just, go away," she sobbed out and stormed back toward her car, leaving Landon standing where she left him. Hot tears streamed her face and she felt as the though the world was closing in, and she was being drowned inside of herself. It seemed she was ruining all of the lives she mingled with. Cassie still hadn't said a word to her.

She ran into her car and turned the key in its ignition, driving out of the parking lot. She wasn't even sure if she could trust herself, she didn't even seem to know what was right or wrong. As she pulled into one of the intersections she caught glimpse of the back road that had taken her and Nick to his favorite place.

For reasons she could not understand she pulled into the turning lain and planned on sitting out near the lake. Praying it would be as peaceful as it had been the night she and Nick went there. As she pulled into the dirt parking lot she found that the sound of the water made her feel a little better from just hearing it. It was soothing.

She knew she could easily clear her head here. Within moments she was sitting on the beach and crying out desperately. Love? What was it? To her it was a deceiving feeling, the worst and the best. It gives you a glimpse of heaven but then throws you back down to hell when it's all said and done. That was what she had taught herself, though now she wasn't so sure.

She longed for Nick, she wanted to get to know him better, and he was already so sweet and could relate to things she could have never imagined. It was as if everything that had happened in the past couple of weeks was fate.

A bitter laugh formed on her lips, fate? Why had fate come to mind? She knew everything happened for a reason, but had never really considered fate or destiny before and now she sobbed even more. Destiny is what killed her mother when she was born, destiny is what left her father to deal with the pain of her mother's death, destiny is what brought her and Nick together. She wished silently that fate would just go to hell and stay there.

Wind rustled around her through the trees, the water rushing in the lake sounded soothing and comforting. What came next she could never explain, but slowly, very slowly she began to relax. Warmth spread from her shoulders down to the tips of her toes and her tears dried in her eyes. It was as if someone had lifted the weight off of her shoulders and she was free for a few minutes to feel nature surrounding her.

Birds chirped here and there, with the sound of frogs croaking from the bank of the lake. The wind whispered softly against her face as she closed her eyes and felt the tender caress air sweeping over.

Soon she found herself lying back in the grass and closing her eyes. This is a peaceful way to end my pain, she thought as she slowly drifted off to sleep…

-later-

About an hour after Julia had shown up at the lake, Nick's car pulled in next to hers in the drive way. When he caught glimpse of her car he jumped out immediately and found his way to the bank. "Julia!" he called, cupping his hands around his mouth. "Julia, I know you here!"

His eyes fell on Julia's figure almost as soon as he reached the edge of the water and he rushed over to her. "Julia," he whispered gently. When he saw she was still breathing and had only fallen asleep he gave a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but whatever it was he had dismissed it. He stripped off his baseball cap and sun glasses, peering at her.

She was so beautiful. He thought as she stared at her sleeping figure. Her light brown hair matted across her face shading her eyes, and her lips looked soft and luring. She was just like a fairy, he had decided, the way she lied against the earth with the long blades of grass and wild flowers encircling her. He smiled, if only she had wings, he thought, she could be an angel.

He couldn't wake her, she looked to peaceful to disrupt; though he couldn't keep back the urge to touch her. Slowly he reached his fingers out to touch her and found himself outlining the frame of her face. He smiled softly at her, her skin was like silk to the touch, so soft and smooth. He draped her long hair back over the side of her head so he could see her face without having to search through her hair strands. Nick held himself back from kissing her, though was slowly losing reasons to hold back.

Suddenly, without warning, not even a slight twitch that could have said 'hey, Nick, I'm waking up now,' to let him be aware, her eyes fluttered open. "You," she muttered in a dream-like state. Nick was surprised she hadn't jolted or jumped in shock to find him sitting only mere inches from her, especially after what had happened after school, why he was even there now he didn't know.

"Me," he replied softly. He smiled at her and took the time to look into her eyes, eyes that he could stare into until the world came to an end. "I came out here to think, and I found you." A crooked smile filled his face, "I guess you decided the same, except sleeping was on your agenda."

Julia blinked and stirred, not sure why finding him lying next to her was so comforting, but she dismissed the thought easily. "I didn't exactly plan on sleeping. I guess it was what I needed though." Slowly Nick watched as her eyes clouded with realization and she found herself scooting away from him immediately. "Oh, Nick, I am so sorry!"

Tears brimmed and she found it easier to pull her knees into her chest and hold herself there. Now she was humiliated. She had completely forgotten the incident after school and finding out that he was standing and overhearing everything I was saying to my dad. Like how I was avoiding Nick, when really those weren't the right words she wanted to say. She couldn't take them back now.

"It wasn't that I was avoiding you, I was just," more tears fell silently down her cheeks as she searched for the right words to say. "I was scared," I mumbled at last. It was truth, after all, though she didn't know why it was hurting her to admit it. "I had always known love to be something that would deceive you and take you to heaven and then—leave you in the darkest of places in the end. It's what always happened to my friends, what happened to my dad."

She dared to catch his eyes and found them stained with her, but crying out to her that he understood. She felt she wanted to explain more—she needed to explain more. Though she never received the chance…

Nick suddenly collapsed in the grass, not fully becoming unconscious because he had enough strength to keep himself slightly propped. "Dear God, are you alright?" Julia almost cried. He didn't answer. "Nick?"

"Dizzy," was all that he mumbled before he collapsed in the damp grass, losing all consciousness…

A/N ok, I'm sorry this chapter took so long… My boyfriend and I just recently broke up after 8 months… it was really hard for me to work on romance fics because of it… Anyways herez a new chapter! Plz tell me what you..


	14. chapter 13

Julia began to panic. What was wrong with him? He seemed fine a moment ago, though now was lying lifeless on the ground. "Ok," she mumbled breathless to herself, trying to calm her rapid breathing. She knew for Nick's sake she had to push panic aside, and was prepared to do it at all costs.

The first thing she thought to do was make sure he was still breathing. He was. She thanked God deeply when she felt his pulse and could hear his breathing, even if it was still very shallow. What shocked her, however, was a red rash that burned over his face. What was that? In the light it almost looked like it could have been the shape of a butterfly that bridged over his nose.

Questions, however, would have to come later. It was more important she got him to a Hospital. One Problem, her car and his were up on the parking lot that was up a steep hill that led to the bay. She couldn't carry him up that hill, she wasn't even sure if she could carry him at all. And she wasn't going to drag him.

Then she remembered her phone! "Nick, I'll be right back," she said quickly, "I promise I won't leave you." The words were out and said before she really took notice to what she had promised him. Somehow, it was the right thing to say and without another word she took off up the hill not daring to slow down for anything.

"You've reached 911 how may I help you?" a voice came onto the other line.

"My friend, I don't know what's wrong with him. He just collapsed, and passed out." Julia quickly rushed back down the hill her heart pounding uncertainly in her chest.

"Alright, just remember to remain calm," the voice answered. It was now that Julia registered it as belonging to a female; her voice almost soothing, and comforting. "Do you know where you are?" she broke into Julia's thoughts.

"Uh," she searched around the lake for a sign that could have stated what the name of the place was. Perhaps the name of the lake. There was nothing. "I'm near a lake, actually not too far from Jefferson High." She began to scan frantically through her memory, perhaps the street that took her to the lake had a name? If there was one she didn't notice.

"Ok, there is a team of paramedics on their way." Julia gave a sigh of relief when she learned she didn't have to tell her more. "Is your friend breathing?" The woman questioned her.

"Yes," she said automatically, "But it's really shallow breathing."

"Uh-huh," the woman said and Julia pictured the lady nodding as she said this. "Do you know how to check his pulse?"

Julia quickly checked Nick's pulse and recorded it to the lady. Not long after that paramedics came down the steep hill and found her sitting next to Nick, his hand wrapped in her own...

-later-

The wait outside the medical room was unbearable. The doctors at the Hospital needed a specialist who could check on him, and Landon Carter, the specialist, had run into traffic from his lunch break. Even though Julia remembered what she had said to her father and regretted it, she found her anger boiling at him now for being so late. For all she knew Nick's life was at stake.

While she waited she was at least able to scrounge a little bit of information about Nick. For starters she discovered that Nick had systemic lupus erythematosus—whatever that was. She had only heard the bits and pieces of what the nurses had said to themselves or to another nurse as they walked in and out of his room. Whatever it was, Julia decided, it didn't sound good.

Finally Landon showed up rushing into Nick's room, completely giving his daughter no acknowledgement as he did so. "What happened?" he questioned the nurse that followed him.

"Your daughter brought him in, sir; it seems he passed out from lost of oxygen."

Landon nodded and ordered for a few tools then said to himself, "It sounds like this time it's circling around his lungs." Then aloud he said, "We need his medication in here, and we need it now!" The nurse scurried out and went to retrieve it, while Landon finished his checkup.

After they hooked Nick up to the IV and started giving him his medications, Landon realized, thankfully, that it was a false alarm. He had just a few symptoms but would be fine. Now he just needed to let Julia Know that.

When he exited the room he nearly collided with his daughter who was like a vulture hungry for answers. "Is he alright?" she questioned and then stammered, "What's wrong with him? What the hell is going on with him Dad?" A few of the patients who passed gave Julia a sharp stare from cursing but she hardly took notice. It was none of their business.

Landon rubbed a hand across his forehead, trying to think on how to answer her, and knew there were more questions coming. "Julia, come here. I'll talk to you in my office." He didn't even get halfway turned before she pushed passed him into Nick's room.

It hurt to see him tied up to tubes and lying so lifeless. Sure in a peaceful way, but there was nothing peaceful about being connected to a machine. Her eyes followed up and down his figure and felt a sharp twist inside her stomach. She really cared for him. She couldn't deny it anymore. She understood now why she was so intrigued in getting to know him, in why she could imagine herself lying in his arms. She couldn't quite say that she loved him yet, but there was definitely something associated with it.

"Julia, he needs his rest." Landon whispered, reaching for her hand. Julia shrugged it off.

Stepping toward his bed she took a seat at the end and began to just admire the little things she had refused to take notice too. "Let's go," she mumbled to her dad. Landon nodded and walked out of the room and as soon as he was out of sight Julia bent down and kissed Nick's forehead lightly.


	15. chapter 14

A/N: hey thanks for all the reviews everyone! Okay, before you read this chapter I would just like to say that Lupus is a real disease, but that even though before I did this chapter I read about the disease I'm not sure if everything I have down is exactly factual. In fact if any of you know what lupus and could tell me if I left anything out or if I put something up that's not true or something it would be nice if you could let me know. ;)

I hope you enjoy this chapter:) And once again thanks for the reviews!

:Chapter 14:

Landon led Julia down into the basement of the hospital, a place she had never been before. Wrapping her arms around herself she tried to take her mind off the news she would soon be hearing about Nick. She eyed the long dimmed hallways that passed room after room, office after office, feeling more like she was in a prison as she carried on.

Landon said nothing as he took her to his office, not even sure how he was to break the news to her at all. Julia was only growing annoyed by the silence.

"Alright, I'm sure you have a lot of questions about Nick," Landon stated the obvious as he sat in his office chair, pointing to his daughter to take a seat in the only other chair that could fit in the tiny room that was a pathetic excuse for an office.

"No shit," Julia said icily, watching her father intently. She was growing nervous by the second, was Nick dying? Was she destined to relive her father's trauma by falling love with someone who had cancer and was going to die young? She closed her mind toward the thought and by ignoring the look of hurt in her father's eyes, waiting as patiently as she could.

"Okay," Landon finally began, "Let's start with the basics. He has systemic lupus erythematosus, but it's really called lupus for short. It's an autoimmune disease that may affect many of his organs. Today it just happened to be his lungs," Landon sighed heavily, "something that he has been having trouble with."

A long silence filled the air, while Julia let it sink in. A disease? She thought desperately, its not cancer then? He's not going to die? The words were suddenly forming on her lips and said, "Not cancer?"

Landon twitched from the question, only to leave Julia suddenly feeling uncertain about it. "It's a deadly disease," he replied slowly, calmly—too calmly. "His life is definitely not going to be as long as the average life span." Julia shook her head slowly, her eyes wide with fear; Tearless, fearful.

Julia wanted desperately to ask whether or not Nick could die soon, but she couldn't even handle the possibility of hearing her father say yes. She let her father continue. "Lupus primarily affects the immune system and makes it hard for the patients to live completely normal lives—but it's not impossible." Landon took in a deep breath. He had never had to have one of these conferences with his _daughter_ before. It was hard.

"Normal? Dad he has a disease!" Julia spat. Why she was feeling all her of anger lash at her father she didn't know.

"Well, although Lupus is quite deadly as long as you keep up with it and aren't too strenuous on yourself most patients live until there at most thirty." He paused a moment before adding, "Julia, to be honest, with Nick I don't know if living to even as old as thirty is even possible."

The heart pounding thump in her chest seemed to have frozen within that instant, she wasn't even sure if she was still drawing breath. What did that mean?

"His lungs seem to be where his body is attacking. If he gets too worked up over stress or something as simple as running or walking to fast, he has problems with breathing and his lungs," Landon kept on talking, his voice detached, too calm, too steady. His eyes that glanced at her from time to time were emotionless, blank.

Julia began to wonder how many of these conferences he has had before. Suddenly knowing a portion of what it must feel like sitting and hearing about a loved one having cancer and only living for a short amount of time. Only, Julia didn't know how long Nick's life was too be savored. She didn't want to know.

Landon ranted on and on, telling her more about the disease and how Nick was slowly, steadily getting better until today. Today was one of the worst Julia had ever lived through. And now, not only was she showered with guilt, pity, and carebut fear.

"Dad, I need to go," she mumbled right in the middle of her father's sentence, "Nick needs me."

She pushed back her chair and rushed out of the room before Landon could stop her. Salty tears stained her face as she ran back down the narrow hallway, seeing the vacant operating rooms and offices looming back at her, gaping nothingness. Emptiness. She strained to keep her eyes from drifting toward the rooms as she ran toward the elevator.

"Nick," she breathed when she took up the only chair seating next to him. He didn't respond at all, with only the machine next to him that gurgled out signs of life. From the lively flowers and cards on his bed side table she knew his parents had come in to see their son, of course not the first time they found him hooked to a machine and IV. Julia eyed what was next to him and couldn't help but let herself scan over a trophy.

It was made of gold with the picture of a runner carved into it. The runner was frozen in the trophy, as if someone had pushed the pause button. She knew that must have been how Nick felt when he looked at it and knew he couldn't run anymore. That his dream and joy of feeling the wind brush across his face as he ran, was over. Julia let her mind drift off toward the conversation she had over heard from her father talking to Mrs. Brookes. Nick must have really enjoyed running…

She reached out and let her fingers glide against the trophy, outlining it carefully letting her fingers trace the runner. Then she leaned over and read the engravings of the trophy.

_This first place metal trophy is presented to:_

_Nick Brookes a dedicated and talented runner_

"Julia," a short rasped whisper filled the air. Her eyes immediately feel on Nick, but he looked just as lifeless as he had when she first laid eyes on him. The only slight change was his eyes were open just enough to make out her figure, but then they closed again.

"I'm here," she choked, gently resting her hand on his.

"I'm sorry," he rasped out again, she wanted to cry hearing how different his voice sounded now. Barely even making it above a whisper. "I—I shouldn't have brought—brought you into this."

Julia didn't know what to say. Her mouth became dry and her lips would not shape any of the words she wanted to say—she wished she could say. A silence drifted between them, either bringing them closer or farther apart, Julia couldn't tell. All she knew was Nick was sitting stiller over the next few minutes. No more words were said.

Eventually the tears she fought to keep from slipping past her eyes came despite her desperate tries, and for the first time in years she felt her true feelings coming together. It was as if things suddenly made sense in a world of confusion. Her eyes fell on Nick and she remembered the night they had shared together.

It was so perfect, with the setting and the fireflies and—and the kiss. Yet, it was the connection between them that Julia could never forget. They had shared something special that night, something deep and – almost sacred. Julia then did something she had never thought she would ever do outside of church.

She slowly dropped herself down onto her knees, bowed her head and prayed. It was the strangest place to be praying, yet she did. She even found herself bawling to the openness that was supposed to be God listening. She mumbled prayer after prayer and at one point or another reached up and took Nick's hand as she prayed.

"Julia," Nicked rasped out, but this time his voice sounding a little more like his own. She immediately looked up and found him propped up on the hospital pillows, his eyes more aware and open. The joy of seeing him full of more life and awareness brought tears to her eyes. Without warning and with no words spoken, she reached up and pulled him into her arms. Tears leaking freely down her face. "Ju—Julia?"

"Oh God," Julia breathed gripping her arms around him so tightly she was sure she could never let him go. Eventually she felt Nick's arms form around her and hold her tightly, obviously unsure of the situation but not entirely ready to give it up. "You're alright! I thought you were going to die, Nick. I thought you were going to die." Her tears suddenly came out in shuddered sobs as she clung to him, holding him as if he she feared by letting him go he would dissipate back into his lifeless figure.

"Hey—hey," Nick muttered in sudden realization, she could have sworn he held her tightly within that moment. "Who told you I could die?"

Julia finally pulled away from his arms catching his gaze immediately, detecting both shock and fear—and comfort. "My Dad," she whispered, a knot in her throat causing her to slightly choke on her words.

"Dr. Carter?" Nick shook his head in disbelief but not exactly as confident as he wished he could be. He trusted his doctor, but why wouldn't Dr. carter tell him he was dying? "He—he said I could die?"

Julia looked away uncertainly, suddenly very confused over the situation. Was he dying? Or was her father just trying to prepare her for what may come? Suddenly she wasn't so sure. "Well," she whispered, "Everyone dies, Nick. I don't think my father meant you're time was coming."

The words were said and out before she even realized what she had said—as if someone sat and spoke for her; someonesomeone who wanted her and Nick to hear those words. "Nick," she whispered hesitantly, "God is here."


	16. chapter 15

Julia uncertainly let her head dangle down and studied her fingers clasped together as she waited almost impatiently for Nick down in the hospital lobby. After three days he was able to go home, and now Julia was becoming eager for him to finally walk out without seeing machines or IV strapped to him. She was glad she would eventually see him as she had seen him before she discovered his disease.

She had to wait for Nick to change into his usual clothing from the hospital robes and of course her father would have to do one last check up on him. A check up she unfortunately couldn't wait for inside the room. Oh well, she thought, I might as well get comfortable. Shifting in the rough plastic hospital chair Julia was easily finding it impossible. How could anyone find comfort in these chairs?

As the time eased on she picked up a 'Seventeen' Magazine and flipped through it irritably, unsure of how long her usually good patience could last. Eventually the chair finally was too much for her back to bear so she began to pace the lobby room, checking the clock every five minutes. "What is taking them so long?" she growled, her impatience was slowly coming undone at the very seems of her sanity.

She began to pace again letting her eyes drift along the lobby wall at many different pictures and portraits on the wall. They weren't that wonderful to look at, quite unattractive and dull really, but it took her mind off Nick for the moment and hopefully just might help speed up time.

The first picture her eyes fell on was of a rather round man with balding hair and smiling eyes, she noted irritably his name as George Walden and moved on. The next figure was of a women but she quickly let her eyes wonder down the row finding most of the portraits boring and not much to look at—until her eyes fell upon one she had never really took notice too.

Sure she had been in that lobby before when she was younger waiting for Landon, but she never really paid any attention to the pictures. And even if she did her eyes had never fallen upon the portrait of her mother's teenage figure. Almost immediately she felt her heart jump into her throat as she stared unmoving. Her mother was so—beautiful. She read the little caption beneath.

_Jamie Elizabeth Sullivan_

_Red Cross, stars and planets, Drama club_

_Ambition: To witness A miracle_

A set of tears formed in her eyes unexpectedly and the hatred and longing for her mother became unbearably hard. It killed her inside to hear all these wonderful things about her mother and never being able to meet her and the hatred for her dying lit another spark inside of her.

"Why," she whispered, biting her lower lip to keep her composure. "I wanted you to be here. You're my mother, you should be here!"

Jamie's Portrait only smiled a sweet smile in response. Her eyes read the rest of the caption and felt another string of hatred knot through her.

_Her ambition was for a miracle—if only she knew what a miracle she was too us…_

"A miracle to them—not to me." She whispered, "You let yourself die before I would meet the supposedly wonderful person you were…" her voice trailed off as the first solitary tear slid down her cheek. Jamie was beautiful—with that same smile that lit up her face in every picture she owned. Did she ever feel pain? Julia wondered when she would see her mother's pictures. It seemed as if her mother never wore a cheerless expression.

The war inside her warred on desperately—did she love her? Or did she hate her? Julia envied her. Even though she may hate her—but she envied her.

"Julia—your still here?" Nick's voice came from somewhere behind her, still not sounding his own yet.

She quickly ran her fore-finger under her eyes to dry any clinging tears and drew a fake smile for Nick. He needed that.

"I promised you I wouldn't leave," she said when she faced him. Her heart lifted when she saw his eyes shine and smile into her own and she wrapped him into her arms and held him. "Are you feeling better?"

"Much," she stated simply, holding her as tightly as she clung to him. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Come on, I have a surprise for you," she could read the curiosity in his eyes and grinned herself. "Patience is a virtue," she stated simply toward his intriguing eyes; he never said a word.

The drive didn't take too long and soon they were pulling into the Jefferson High school student parking lot. It was nearly empty considering it was the weekend and for that Julia was entirely grateful. She wasn't sure how well her surprise would fall onto Nick and she found herself praying desperately that he wouldn't get offended for upset.

"Okay," Nick said in obvious confusion, eyeing the school. "You know, school isn't exactly my favorite place," he smirked.

"I told you—you need patience."

He grunted, "I have no patience."

"Then this would be perfect practice."

Without hesitation she wrapped her hand gently around his and led the way. She adored how well her hand fit into his and how smooth and rough they were at the same time. Just the feel of his skin touching hers was a comfort she had never really considered—until now.

The football field and track came to view and so did hurtles and other obstacles that were especially set up for him. Coach Peterson, his old track and field tutor stood in the middle of the field, smiling, a timer in his left hand. "I—I don't understand," Nick breathed.

Julia took a deep breath and prayed for the best of her unexpected ideaWhich had taken a lot to get Landon to agree too. "Well," she said uncertainly, "I talked to my Dad and after a little while of persuasion, I was able to talk him into letting you – well—run."

Silence filled the air between them as he stared uncertainly at the field—a distant longing filling his eyes. "But," he began, "I was just in the hospital for my lungs, why—why would Dr. Carter let me run an obstacle course just three days after I was admitted into the hospital?"

"I have your inhaler," she tried again. "My dad said as long as you drink a lot of water when you're done and take your inhaler immediately it would be okay if you ran one or – if you're up to it, two laps."

The silence crushed her as she waited for some sign that would show her that what she did was right. But, his face was expressionless. Almost like he wasn't sure of this was some joke being played on him. "I – I can't."

Without warning he turned on his heel and started walking the other way—fast, very fast. Julia immediately knew he was escaping, knowing that if he even tried it, somehow he would fail. Somehow, it would be some kind of tortured ending he could never live down, and it was then it occurred to her…

Just as she had been running away from love—he was running away from running, the sport that he cherished and loved! She couldn't let him pass this up she knew how he felt about it, his passion, his love for it. Swiftly she turned after him, "Nick, stop!"

He did, just froze in his tracks and fell over onto his knees. Immediately the memory of the last time he collapsed brought her too him in fear, but she only found him crying. No, she thought in failure, I didn't mean for this to happen. "Oh God, I'm sorry," she dragged him into her arms. "Nick, I know how much you love to run, and I wanted to give you a glimpse of a possibility of still making it possible. I didn't intend on you getting upset over it."

"No one," he leaned against her and savored the warmth and comfort of her touch, "No one has ever done this. God, I—I don't know what to say. It was as if you were able to reach out of my limits and bring my dream to me instead of leaving me to stand and watch it from so far away." He swallowed hard and drew away from her, his eyes catching hers. "Julia—I love you so much."

Her heart froze along with her blood running cold. Was it her turn to say it back? Was she ready to say it back? "Nick," she said uncertainly, "I—I can't say it, I'm sorry." She was preparing to see his face contort in shock and disapproving pain, but instead a light smile broke out.

He let his hand brush her hair behind her ear and then slid it under her chin and gently seized her in a sweet, lingering kiss. She melted right there against him, even when he drew away her eyes remained close as the sheer strength of the kiss shivered through her. She opened her eyes slowly and stared uncertainly at him, but he smiled and leaned down to capture her lips yet again. "Don't ever leave me," he pleaded sweetly in her ear, "I need you, Julia."

"A promise is a promise," she said. Then looking past him at the field that awaited him, she leaned her head against his and whispered, "Go on, go fly."

The End

A/N I want to thank everyone for all your reviews and support for this fan fiction! I hope you all liked it and I also hope I ended this well. Anyways, thank you all again for reviewing!


	17. Chapter 17

Hey, everyone! I wanted to thank all of you for all your reviews, and I am glad you all have enjoyed this fanfiction. I just thought I'd let you all know, just in case you didn't know yet, that I have actually started a sequal! It's called "Taking Chances" and I hope you all will enjoy as much as you in enjoyed this one! Again thank you for all your reviews :)


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